3 Ways to Break the Cycle of Toxic Parenting

When our minds, bodies, and souls are under duress, we cannot give our children what they need from us. We need to do the work to heal from our own trauma or it would be passed all the way down to our youngsters. This includes taking steps to interrupt from addictions that could make us unsafe and unengaged as parents. Doing all we will to make sure the health of our minds and bodies will not be selfish; it’s a terrific option to protect our children from those scary parts of ourselves. 

This can appear like, but will not be limited to the next: finding the correct medications to administer your mental health, investing in therapy, potentially agreeing to in-patient or outpatient mental health treatment or substance abuse programs, enlisting the assistance of mentors, creating a powerful village that may support you and keep you accountable as a parents. Some other ideas include:   taking time to search out ways to control your body. Walking, yoga, deep respiration, acupuncture, chiropractic care, sleep support, regular exercise, and nutrition can transform how your body responds to the stress of parenthood. 

About two and a half years ago, we said yes to a pre-adoptive foster care placement of a 2-year-old girl. She was perfectly lovable and had been through more tough things than I could ever imagine experiencing at such a young age. 

We fell in love fast, but a couple of 12 months in, I discovered myself shutting down as a mother. The stress of growing our family this manner and supporting her through her healing was taking a toll. Thankfully, I saw the signs of burnout and commenced to pursue my very own well-being more aggressively so I could show up for my family how they needed me to. 

Sometimes it’s our history or addictions that hold us back, and other times it’s stress that we are saying ‘yes’ to that requires greater than we now have on our own to offer. Whatever our story, after we see ourselves shutting down as parents or escaping from our world through substance abuse, we must do the work so we will healthily re-engage with our families.

Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/ Adrian Swancar