What Does the Bible Say about Marrying Cousins or Extended Relatives?

My husband and I are from Georgia, the Deep South. If you chop us open, we bleed sweet tea, and our hometown is a stone’s throw away from where famous country music singer Luke Bryan grew up.

Naturally, once we transplanted from Georgia to Colorado, we were consistently met with, “You’re not from here, are you?” We would smile, nod our affirmation, and make a joke of their guess at where we were from. More often than not, the guess sounded something like “Alabama.” Our common follow-up joke was, “No, and we aren’t married to our cousins.” 

All joking aside, there’s a reason people joke about being married to relatives. Modern science shows the biological defects that a pre-related union can place on the following generation. For Christians, it’s only natural to wonder how this pertains to biblical times, when members of the family married each other because the norm. 

Was it biologically safer then? Did God approve of ancient inter-family marriages because there have been literally only so many individuals on the earth, so the one means by which to procreate was to have children together with your third or fourth cousin? 

These are valid questions that I’ve heard believers discuss again and again, so let’s consider the cultural history of marriage and Scripture’s present relevance to find out the moral baseline for marriage:

What Was Marriage Like before the Mosaic Law?

The Mosaic Law states in Leviticus 18:6, “You mustn’t ever have sexual relations with an in depth relative, for I’m the Lord.” The remainder of the chapter fleshes this out with specifics that include prohibiting sexual relations with anyone from a parent to a sibling to a grandchild to an in-law. 

However, before the Mosaic Law that God gave to Moses on Mount Sinai, there wasn’t an explicit moral rule against members of the family marrying one another. Abraham married his half-sister, Sarah. Jacob married his first cousins, Leah and Rachel. 

But here’s the important thing point: Scripture doesn’t explicitly say that God approved of those relationships, neither is there strong scientific backing for its safety. 

Adam and Eve’s children needed to intermarry for the human race to survive. That’s a singular, never-seen-again circumstance. Meanwhile, certain nationalities and tribes often intermarried to preserve their people, which could be what we see when Abraham married Sarah, and Jacob married his cousins. 

It’s essential to acknowledge that none of those relationships are specifically approved by God, and, the truth is, there’s an instance within the pre-Mosaic Law wherein we see God show complete disapproval for an incestual relationship. Though the text doesn’t say verbatim “thou shalt not,” the context of your entire scenario reeks of sin and its lifelong consequences.

Let’s take a more in-depth have a look at this instance.

Lot’s Incestuous Relationship with His Daughters 

In Genesis 19, after Lot and his family flee the destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, his daughters realize that they’re nomads. They don’t have a house, a community, or a possible husband to hold on their family name. To “treatment” this, each daughter sleeps with Lot after encouraging him to get drunk so he doesn’t know what’s happening.

It’s a hefty portion of text, however it’s vital to grasp the detail of this account: 

“Lot and his two daughters left Zoar and settled within the mountains, for he was afraid to remain in Zoar. He and his two daughters lived in a cave. One day the older daughter said to the younger, ‘Our father is old, and there is no such thing as a man around here to present us children—as is the custom all around the earth. Let’s get our father to drink wine after which sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.’

That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and slept with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

The next day the older daughter said to the younger, ‘Last night I slept with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and also you go in and sleep with him so we are able to preserve our family line through our father.’ 

So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went in and slept with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

So each of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father. The older daughter had a son, and he or she named him Moab; he’s the daddy of the Moabites of today. The younger daughter also had a son, and he or she named him Ben-Ammi; he’s the daddy of the Ammonites of today” (Genesis 19:30-38).

We later learn that the Moabites and Ammonites became Israel’s largest political and spiritual enemies throughout the Old Testament. So while incest hasn’t been explicitly listed as a sin at this point in Scripture, and while it was culturally essential for a girl to have children to hold on the family’s name, it’s clear that incest’s byproduct has a negative consequence. Excuses and cultural norms didn’t and don’t wipe away the truth of dishonorable decisions. 

This example illustrates why it’s essential to grasp inference. Using this literary tool helps you decipher what the Bible is saying even when it doesn’t explicitly list a “thou shalt not.” 

The New Testament’s Warnings against Incest

1 Corinthians 5:1-2 says, “It is definitely reported that there’s sexual immorality amongst you, and of a sort that even pagans don’t tolerate: A person is sleeping together with his father’s wife. And you’re proud! Shouldn’t you fairly have gone into mourning and put out of the fellowship the person who had been doing this?” 

It’s essential to grasp that Paul is a bit frustrated with the Corinthian church. They claim to be Christians but act similar to, if not worse than, pagans. In this instance, a Corinthian man is sleeping together with his mother—or stepmother, as scholars debate this issue. Nonetheless, Paul is evident that, regardless, this isn’t acceptable. 

If Paul’s rebuke isn’t heavy enough, John the Baptist publicly condemns King Herod’s incestual relationship, which ultimately incites Herod’s wrath and gets him beheaded. In Mark 6:17-18 and Luke 3:19-20, Scripture records that John calls Herod out for marrying Herodias, who was each his sister-in-law and niece. 

Later, in Matthew 14:1-12, we see that Herodias is infuriated by John the Baptist’s rebuke and personally requests the prophet’s death. 

John the Baptist knew what could occur if he openly condemned the king, so if incest wasn’t such a violation of God’s holy ordinance, why would John the Baptist have risked his life? 

John the Baptist understood what many modern Christians miss: it isn’t about in search of ways to dodge rules or dismiss what isn’t explicitly mentioned in Scripture; it’s about pursuing the guts of God and discovering that, once we pursue Him, His law of affection is made evident—irrespective of what’s spelled out in black and white. 

Consider these verses as you seek to honor God’s law in marriage and all other relationships: 

• “Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to like each other, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.” Romans 13:8
• “For your entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'” Galatians 5:14
• “In fact, that is love for God: to maintain his commands. And his commands aren’t burdensome.” 1 John 5:3

Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Tero Vesalainen

Peyton Garland is an writer, editor, and boy mama who lives in the attractive foothills of East Tennessee. Subscribe to her blog Uncured+Okay for more encouragement.