Don’t allow your God- given gifts to be withheld from expression on this life due to fear. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of affection and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV)
The Greek word here for fear is deilia, which is most accurately translated as “timidity.” This is a word we will easily relate to. To experience timidity or intimidation means being deterred from motion because of fear. But the more necessary aspect here is that a spirit is the final word origin of intimidation. It’s a spiritual force, and if we don’t address fear on a spiritual level, its roots aren’t fully cut off.
I do know all about this because I battled this spirit for a few years. I assumed it was a weakness in my personality. But during a set of church meetings within the early Nineteen Nineties, I discovered I used to be completely mistaken in my assessment.
These meetings were scheduled to last for less than 4 days in a small-town church, but as a substitute they became a three-week move of God. Every night, the constructing was packed to capability, and plenty of were saved, healed, and delivered. The gift of God in my life to evangelise was in high gear. It was remarkable. People traveled so far as ninety miles to attend the nightly services. I distinctly remember going into the empty sanctuary throughout the daytime, and it seemed as if God’s presence had settled within the constructing.
But one evening in the ultimate week, all this modified. Some of the worship leaders had criticized my ministry the night before. What they said was relayed to me by certainly one of the church leaders just before that evening’s service. The comments seemed opinionated, yet harmless. The pastor dismissed their remarks. We then prayed and went into the sanctuary, as we’d done for thus many services. However, I couldn’t shake the worship leaders’ words from my thoughts. My focus shifted from preparing for the upcoming service to critiquing my message from the previous evening.
That evening, all the things seemed dry. I attempted to minister as I’d done for the previous two weeks, but I used to be confused, couldn’t keep a thought, and hated being on the platform. I desired to escape out the back door. I felt powerless, like an adolescent in a highschool speech class, miserably failing to speak before my fellow students. There was no anointing, no presence of God on me. It was horrible. I closed the service early and returned to where I used to be staying.
I discovered myself upset with God. Why didn’t He help me? Why was this service so different? Why did I feel abandoned? I assumed, That message and ministry time was pathetic. Nobody will come back tomorrow night. In fact, I don’t wish to return tomorrow.
I went to bed hoping the subsequent day could be different.
Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Japheth Mast
