I grew up with a transparent idea of womanhood: The Proverbs 31 woman. She is alleged to be value “way over rubies” and “lacks nothing of value” (Proverbs 31:10, NIV). This woman is characterised by a powerful work ethic, intelligence, generosity, strength, and wisdom. Her inward beauty radiates. And while we now have learned about this “Proverbs 31 Woman,” will we ever talk concerning the “Proverbs 31 Man”?
What Is a Proverbs 31 Man and Why Have We Never Heard of Him?
In the 21 verses about this noble wife, we make acquaintance together with her husband in 5 of them. While the passage is clearly highlighting the girl, I ponder why I actually have never heard someone speak about her husband. If Proverbs 31 is the final word guide to biblical womanhood, then we can be sensible to listen to the sort of man she marries, too. The Proverbs 31 Man then becomes the best for each Proverbs 31 Woman. He is the reminder to the one woman to never settle. He is the reminder to the one man to work on himself and grow if he wants a wife who “brings him good, not harm” all of the days of his life (v. 12). He is a reminder to each husband of the importance of valuing, cherishing, and honoring his wife, just as he reminds the married woman that they’re worthy of being pursued.
The Proverbs 31 passage opens up with a very important query, “A wife of noble character who can find?” (v. 10). The Proverbs 31 man may not receive attention because he’s hidden in so few verses, however the initial query is directed towards this man. The query will not be “What makes a wife of noble character?” The query is, “Who can find this sort of woman?”
When we read Proverbs 31 in light of this query, it becomes so far more than a listing of qualities of an “ideal” woman. Proverbs 31 answers this query by describing the sort of man worthy of the incredible woman described. To understand the Proverbs 31 Man, we ask the identical query, who’s he?
A Provers 31 Man Trusts His Wife
We are first introduced to the Proverbs 31 Man in verses 11-12, “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all of the days of her life.” The wife of noble character lacks nothing of value, and her husband clearly sees her value. The first characteristic described by this man is his confidence in his wife. Her value is clear to him. Because of who she is, he has full trust in her. He believes her. He values her.
This strong bond of trust may explain why the Proverbs 31 Woman is so empowered. She is described as using her own earnings to purchase fields and plant vineyards (v. 16). Her passion for her work is clear. She makes her own business decisions and uses her earnings to offer for her family. And while these qualities are inherent to her, her husband plays a job as he trusts and believes in her.
I imagine their marriage as a partnership where her husband listens to her input and expertise. He not only sees her as invaluable to him, but he sees her value in all areas of life. Because of this, he respects her and loves her. When he makes decisions, he thinks to ask for her input. A person who has full confidence in his wife would treat her as such.
After learning concerning the Proverbs 31 Woman’s business dealings and generosity to the poor, we learn something else about her husband. “Her husband is respected at the town gate, where he takes his seat among the many elders of the land” (v. 23).
A Proverbs 31 Man is respected. By taking a seat among the many elders, we are able to assume that he provides spiritual leadership. To earn a seat among the many elders, he will need to have an excellent status. And it is a status not earned by charisma, but by good deeds. Having a seat among the many elders also shows that he’s involved in his community.
The passage only explicitly states that he’s an elder who’s respected in his community. But if we read between the lines, this tells us so far more concerning the Proverbs 31 Man. A person with this type of role in his community probably speaks with wisdom. He likely chooses strength over passivity. To gain respect, the Proverbs 31 Man wouldn’t be easily angered. Proverbs 31:23 paints an image of a powerful spiritual leader stuffed with courageous wisdom and self-control.
The Proverbs 31 Woman continues to be described intimately as a lady “clothed with strength and dignity” (v. 25). She is alleged to be a sensible and faithful adviser who “can laugh at the times to come back” (v. 25). After this beautiful description, we hear a final word on her husband. “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass all of them’” (v. 28-39).
Typically, in reading this passage, I’m so focused on the wife of noble character that I completely miss what this verse says about her husband. This verse tells us that the Proverbs 31 Woman is noble. But we only learn that because her husband says something about it. We have learned about her nobility because he desired to tell us. He is happy to honor a lady so deserving of honor.
The Proverbs 31 Man honors his wife. He sees her. This man doesn’t take her contributions with no consideration. He makes sure that she knows how invaluable she is. And while he calls her blessed, he’s fully aware of what a blessing she is to him. A Proverbs 31 Man doesn’t withhold praise or affection. His adoration for his wife overflows.
Perhaps essentially the most famous verse from this Proverbs 31 passage is verse 30, “Charm is deceptive, and wonder is fleeting; but a lady who fears the LORD is to be praised.” This verse is the ultimate advice to the person searching for his wife of noble character. On one hand, it tells him not to fret a lot concerning the blinding charm of a lady or the outward beauty that can fade. It tells him to deal with the inward fantastic thing about a lady. But on this final piece of recommendation, we also receive a final command. When you discover a lady who fears the LORD, do not forget that she is worthy of praise.
“A wife of noble character, who can find?” The first verse of this passage implies the rarity of the Proverbs 31 Woman. She is special due to her exemplary character. But equally, this query asks, “Who is able to attracting a lady of such noble character?”
This first questions teaches us two things. First, we must deal with our growth if we wish partners of noble character. Women reading this passage, have a look at the Proverbs 31 Woman for instance of who you’re able to becoming with God. Men reading this passage, fairly than making a checklist for who your wife must be, remember the Proverbs 31 Man. With your confidence, love, and support, the girl in your life will thrive. And with the Proverbs 31 Man in mind, you may have an example of strong, biblical manhood, too.
Last, the query, “A wife of noble character, who can find?” tells us to value what we now have after we find it. Proverbs 31 starts by asking us who’s worthy of this woman, and it ends by commanding us, “Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her paise at the town gate” (v. 31). When you discover the people in your life who reflect deep character, tell them. Honor them. Their rarity is yours to proclaim.
Related Resource: Tim Tebow: When His Scars Redefine Yours: Identity, Intimacy, and Impact Through the Lens of the Cross
What defines a life well lived? On this episode of the Built Different Podcast, Dr. Zach Clinton welcomes Tim Tebow for a strong conversation on identity, intimacy with Christ, and living a life marked by lasting impact. Known to many first for his achievements on the sphere: Heisman Trophy winner, national champion, NFL quarterback…Tim’s deeper impact has all the time prolonged far beyond football. From serving the “Most Vulnerable People” through the Tim Tebow Foundation to getting into fatherhood together with his wife Demi-Leigh and their daughter Daphne, Tim shares how identity, royalty, and calling have taken on even greater meaning on this season of life. At the middle of this conversation is Tim’s recent book, If The Tree Could Speak, a creative retelling of the crucifixion inspired by Luke 19:40. Through the angle of the cross itself, Tim invites us to decelerate and truly see the love displayed there, not as distant history, but as a gift and private rescue mission. Together, we explore what it means to live with urgency without anxiety, to steer with conviction anchored in love, and to “look again” on the people the world often overlooks. If you’ve ever felt unseen, dismissed, or forgotten, this episode is a reminder that the loudest declaration of affection in history was accomplished for you. If you want what you hear, make sure to follow The Built Different Podcast on Apple, Spotify or YouTube so that you never miss an episode!
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/People Images
Ryan Holland is a seminary student at Fuller Theological Seminary and a Program Manager of LendHOPE worldwide, a micro-funding and entrepreneurial training program for business owners living in material poverty.
