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Wednesday, September 16, 2026

How to Transform Your Marriage with Positive Communication

Ted Lowe talks about how our thoughts should not our actions or attitudes. However, they do inform and shape what each will develop into. The way we predict inclines us toward a way of being. It’s easy to have a look at Scripture and think that it only tells us tips on how to speak or act, but the reality is, there may be a lot in God’s Word that urges us to pay attention to our thoughts.

Isaiah says that where we direct our thoughts determines how much peace we experience: “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you” (Isaiah 26:3). Paul echoes this exact sentiment in Romans 8:6 (NLT): “So letting your sinful nature control your mind results in death. But letting the Spirit control your mind results in life and peace.” The English Standard Version uses the expression “to set the mind on” fleshly, negative things. This an interesting option to give it some thought. The mind may feel prefer it’s consistently wandering with or without our consent, type of like drifting off to sleep once you just can’t keep your eyes open. But we’ve got been given the facility to set our minds on various things, like setting an alarm clock that awakens us to right ways of considering every day.

We don’t must be a slave to our own mind. God’s Spirit guarantees to assist us break free from old thought patterns if we are going to lean into his grace and his ways over time. It definitely begins with honesty about our thought struggles, nevertheless it doesn’t end there. God doesn’t leave us to our own devices. He doesn’t ask sick people to perform their very own surgeries. No, he’s at work in us: 

“God is working in you, supplying you with the need and the facility to do what pleases him.” – Philippians 2:13 NLT

You see, he doesn’t just work to change our behaviors. His deepest work is seen in transforming our thoughts, motivations, and desires, in order that ultimately we develop into like Christ. He knows that if we allow him to completely release our potential, we will do incredible things for his kingdom. He doesn’t want us to be complacent or resigned to an insignificant life. There is so way more he wants to offer us if we are going to say yes to the exertions of soul change.

Jesus knew what his disciples were considering and talked with them about it. He didn’t leave them alone to think and do the fallacious things. He challenged them because he knew that their thoughts were essential enough to be known, evaluated, and, when mandatory, completely modified. He wants the identical for us. Our thoughts should mirror his: “In your relationships with each other, have the identical mindset as Christ Jesus” (Philippians 2:5). But who can do such a thing—you understand, think like Jesus thinks?

No one can, without some help that’s. It’s an excellent thing we’ve got the Holy Spirit, our Helper, who’s by far a greater helper than the “helper” I assumed I used to be to Dave. God’s Word shows us exactly how our thoughts may be modified: 

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is true, whatever is pure, whatever is gorgeous, whatever is admirable—if anything is great or praiseworthy—take into consideration such things.” – Philippians 4:8

 

Now that’s a direct statement that removes all ambiguity and doubt about what we should always do. We often think that being told what to do brings confinement, but surely, once we trust the One who’s being direct with us because we truly consider he knows higher than us, it brings complete freedom. When we all know exactly what we’re purported to do, we will stop all of the angst and wasted time pondering what we should always do. Instead, we’re granted the grace of clarity: Hey you—yes, you there under the pile of laundry. Right now, I need you to take into consideration these items, not those other things. Also, next time, don’t forget the dryer sheets.

The New Testament in Modern English (PHILLIPS) uses the phrase “fix your minds” in Philippians 4:8—an interesting internal image of intentionally affixing your mind to concepts and concepts that should not already there. It is the difference between lying back and letting the currents of your naturally negative thoughts take you where they are going to or grabbing a rope thrown to you by a passing boat.

The boat is Spirit-led considering that counters the currents of negativity throughout you. Holding tightly to the rope is an intentional act that requires only the grip strength of a straightforward faith that takes hold over and once more. In the tip, the boat is doing the true work—that’s, the Spirit leads us into right considering if we are going to only fix our minds on his ways. The coolest part? When we’re pulled against the present by an influence greater and faster than our own, we rise above the waves because the resistance of God-based positive considering causes us to ski on the surface of negativity throughout us.

Excerpted with permission from How to Speak Life to Your Husband, by Ann Wilson. Copyright 2025, Zondervan.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Dima Berlin

Dave and Anne Wilson bio picHow to Speak Life to Your Husband book coverANN WILSONhas served together with her husband for greater than twenty-five years, cofounding Kensington Community Church, speaking at Family Life’s Weekend to Remember®, and hosting their very own marriage conferences across the country. They live within the Detroit area, they usually have three grown sons, CJ, Austin, and Cody; three daughters-in-law; and 7 grandchildren.

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