The Biblical Guide to Breaking Up

Is it strange that when I feel of breakups, I feel of Paul and Barnabas? Their relationship was a working one, and their love was brotherly, yet they provide an example of how Christians can go their separate ways while doing the least damage possible. A pastor friend of mine once taught a lesson about their relationship and their undramatic breakup. He noted that in Acts 13-15, we see a reoccurrence of Paul and Barnabas doing ministry together. Then, over time, we just see Paul. Acts 15:36-41 gives us their breakup account. In short, that they had a disagreement and selected to proceed in ministry down different paths. The breakup should have been at the least somewhat painful and nagging for each of them, however the work of spreading the gospel continued for every of them.I do know of just a number of clear instructions in scripture that tell us when to make a move in our romantic relationships. The ones which have stood out to me are “Be not unequally yoked along with unbelievers” (2 Cor 6:14), “If you might be acting improperly toward your virgin [fiancé], marry her” (I Cor 7:36), and the famous line in Song of Solomon “…Do not fire up or awaken love until it pleases [until the time is right]” (2:7). Those Scriptural guides are powerful, yet within the vast territory of romance we’re given plenty of selection, plenty of room to make mistakes. Ultimately, we have to be guided by the Holy Spirit and undergo family and spiritual authorities in our lives that may counsel us on the journey from dating to breakup and dating again.“Dating that dives in too quickly or dumps too carelessly doesn’t reflect God’s intention,” wrote Marshall Segal in “It’s Not You, It’s God” for Desiring God. For those of you currently pondering a breakup or in the midst of one, I need to offer you three suggestions that may take away a little bit little bit of the sting.Photo Credit: Unsplash/Kelly Sikkema