In this podcast (episode #594) and blog, I talk concerning the 100% happiness fallacy, and why learning find out how to embrace your pain and rewrite your story is a very important a part of being truly blissful. This is a replay of a Neurolive webinar I did on my app. For the complete webinar AD-free, please see Neurocycle.app or search for Neurocycle on the App Store or Google Play.
Does it feel to you want you’ve got to be blissful on a regular basis? Often, it appears like happiness and being positive is touted because the wonder drug to resolve our problems. It is simple to feel like there’s something fallacious with you in the event you aren’t as blissful as other people appear to be! Yes, being blissful and optimistic can have a positive impact on our minds, brain and body, but considering blissful thoughts doesn’t just eliminate whatever we’re going through.
To truly heal and find some measure of intrinsic happiness, we must move beyond positive affirmations and considering, and face what’s holding us back through embracing, processing and reconceptualizing our past pain. If we don’t do that, we won’t truly profit from positive psychology and happiness techniques. Using the latter before now we have processed and managed what has happened to us often ends in a toxic positivity cycle, where we feel bad for simply being human and check out to disregard our more uncomfortable emotions, which only makes us feel worse!
In fact, research indicates that pursuing happiness in a toxically positive way can impact our ability to completely embrace the human experience, with all its ups and downs and uncertainties. Our lives are infused with fragility, setbacks and unpredictability as much as they’re stuffed with passion, excitement and joy. Using happiness or positive considering to mask the cruel realities of life will backfire because there is no such thing as a avoiding what it means to be human.
It is okay to not feel okay. It is okay to not be blissful on a regular basis. An opposed emotional response to an opposed life situation is normal. Understandably, we don’t desire to get stuck in a dark place, but happiness shouldn’t be a bandage we are able to slap on all of life’s wounds and just “carry on keeping on”. It is a very important a part of life, yes, but it surely also means various things to different people, and won’t take away that pain that we experience as we undergo life.
If you are feeling pressured to be blissful on a regular basis, take the time to pause and examine your thoughts. Ask yourself:
- Is the happiness fallacy taking over mental real estate in your mind?
- Do you are feeling guilty while you feel unhappy?
- Do you think that that there’s something fallacious with you while you feel sad, upset or indignant?
- Do you are feeling shame, guilt, and embarrassment in the event you do not feel blissful on a regular basis?
- Do you regularly tell yourself and others that you just just must “think a positive/blissful thought” in the event you are feeling sad, indignant, or any emotion that is taken into account uncomfortable or negative?
- Do you end up ignoring or repressing your suffering or pain?
If you said yes to any of those or all of the above, work on reframing the way you see happiness and its role in your life. Don’t let your guilt devour you; fairly, be curious, almost as in the event you were listening to a friend inform you about their thoughts. And, while you end up falling right into a pattern of using toxic positivity to suppress your more uncomfortable emotions, pause and say out loud: “Not only is it okay for me to not feel okay, it is a component of what it means to be human, and attempting to be blissful on a regular basis can actually hurt me and make my pain worse.”
For more on the 100% happiness fallacy and learning find out how to embrace your pain and rewrite your story, take heed to my podcast (episode #594). If you enjoy listening to my podcast, please consider leaving a 5-star review and subscribing. And keep sharing episodes with family and friends and on social media. (Don’t forget to tag me so I can see your posts!).
This podcast and blog are for educational purposes only and aren’t intended as medical advice. We at all times encourage everybody to make the choice that seems best for his or her situation with the guidance of a medical skilled.
Originally published by Dr. Caroline Leaf. Used with permission.
Photo Credit: SWN Design/photo used with permission.
