“Are you called to marry this person?” I ask each time I counsel premarital couples. After their eyebrows return to their resting place, they sometimes stammer, “Uh, yes. I believe so.” You think so? Marriage is a commitment, but it is usually a calling. Not everyone is named to be married. I’m sure your mind is filling up with examples out of your clan who fit the bill.
In their book and premarital program Called Together, Steve and Mary Prokopchak explain that premarital counseling “helps to construct a pair’s faith, or it is going to disclose to the couple that they’re, in truth, not called together.” More Christians have to stop asking if their future spouse is “the one for me” and begin asking if their future spouse is “the one I’m called to be with.” When you realize that the Lord has called you together together with your spouse, arguments, different values, and even tragedies won’t tear you apart. This is why marriage have to be a communal decision. Far too many lovestruck twenty-somethings (and fifty-somethings, for that matter) marry without in search of honest input from their family, pastors, and friends. When you’re called to marry an individual, your faith community will realize it, too.
Now we’re cooking. We have our essential ingredients blended together to make a lovely marriage: connection, communication, commitment, and calling. Colossians 3:14 sums it up like this, And over all these virtues placed on love, which binds all of them together in perfect unity.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/PeopleImages