PARISHIONERS have a right of burial within the churchyard, but they do not need a right to have a gravestone or monument erected. Strictly speaking, a college from the consistory court is required; but it surely is usually recognised that, if the incumbent’s permission is obtained, that’s sufficient. Any one who is aggrieved by the incumbent’s refusal to allow specific details on a monument may apply to the consistory court for a college.
A burial in a cemetery is just not subject to the restrictions that apply in a churchyard. But people may prefer a churchyard where, for a lot of centuries, parishioners have been buried. Churchyards are often well tended, and bereaved families who visit the graves of family members find comfort and solace within the vicinity of the church itself.
Families are sometimes unaware, nonetheless, that, once they inter the stays of a loved one in a churchyard, they don’t “own” the grave, and must comply with the churchyard regulations governing the dimensions and style of memorial stone that they’ll install, and what they’re permitted to inscribe on it.
Clergy indicate that they’re themselves ignorant about churchyard regulations, because ordination training doesn’t extend to churchyard issues. As one incumbent said, he needed to “learn from experience and the wisdom of a really approachable and considerate archdeacon”. Sometimes, stonemasons are more knowledgeable than the clergy about monuments in churchyards, and will be helpful to each clergy and the bereaved families.
GENERALLY, memorial stones or headstones contain the names of the deceased, their dates of birth and death, followed by words of comfort for the bereaved, a quotation from the scriptures, and a cross, or another symbol related to Christianity — for instance, a dove or an angel. Problems arise when bereaved families wish to deviate from these traditional inscriptions and to pour their grief into expressions or images on the headstone which should not permitted by the regulations.
This mostly happens within the case of a young child, or a death in particularly tragic circumstances. Grieving parents often wish to incorporate images related to children, resembling balloons, teddy bears, giraffes, rainbows, footballs, or club logos, which the kid might need enjoyed, during a brief life. In those circumstances, the parish and the incumbent have the unenviable task of informing the family, at a highly emotional time, that they can not have these on the headstone; and, in the event that they have already installed them without permission, that they need to be removed.
The family can petition the consistory court of the diocese, asking the diocesan chancellor to issue a college permitting an installation which is outside the regulations. Chancellors are moved by, and sympathetic towards, bereaved families, and do make concessions in exceptional cases; but they’re mindful of not wanting to create precedents which can result in a multiplicity of violations of the regulations.
Families are likely to point to other installations within the churchyard where the regulations have been breached however the breaches have been disregarded, or have gone unnoticed by the incumbent on the time and have subsequently remained within the churchyard. Chancellors are quick to reject those violations as precedents, nonetheless, and indicate that two wrongs don’t make a right.
Problems also arise in relation to the usage of colors on a headstone. In many churchyards, only black, white, gold, and silver are permitted; parents often want pink or blue on a baby’s headstone. But the query of color also arises in regard to the gravestones of adults. In one case, a widow wanted a red poppy with green foliage included on her husband’s memorial, to reflect the undeniable fact that he had been a member of the British Legion, and energetic within the sale of poppies. As a compromise, the chancellor allowed the red but not the green.
PASTORAL considerations also apply within the cases of some petitions for a college to operate outside the churchyard regulations. These often arise in regard to minority groups. Some of those cases involve the Travelling Community, which favours elaborate memorials with designs that should not throughout the regulations, and are different from those normally present in the churchyard. Parishes often object to them.
In one such case, the chancellor observed that the “mere undeniable fact that the memorial is different to the norm didn’t make it harmful or objectionable”, and, although the memorial was more elaborate than lots of the others within the churchyard, he disagreed with the PCC’s use of the word “ostentatious”.
As for pastoral issues, the chancellor identified that the grave bore a special cultural and spiritual significance to Travellers, because it was considered the one everlasting “home” to a nomadic culture. It was also identified that Travellers had faced centuries of persecution and discrimination, in some instances from the Church. But, on the whole, Travellers retained more trust within the Church than in other institutions. In that context, the chancellor felt that it was “incumbent upon the church to create space” and “appropriate allowances” for Travellers.
A diocesan chancellor subsequently has power, which incumbents may not have, to permit a deviation from the churchyard regulations.
ISSUES have also arisen in regard to certain symbols on a memorial stone, and these have sometimes resulted in differences of opinion between chancellors in numerous dioceses. Only symbols related to Christianity are permitted in a churchyard.
A Star of David had been requested on a memorial stone where the deceased, although a Christian, had a Jewish heritage that his family wanted reflected. In one diocese, the chancellor refused to allow it on the bottom that a Star of David was indicative of Judaism, and was not a Christian symbol. In one other diocese where the identical request was made, the chancellor ruled that a Star of David was acceptable, because Jesus was repeatedly recognised because the Son of David, and was introduced as such within the very first verse of the primary chapter of the primary Gospel of the New Testament.
Human grief on the death of a loved one is natural, and has been recognised since time immemorial. Jesus wept on the death of Lazarus. Clergy have a pastoral duty to comfort the bereaved, and at the identical time to preserve the timeless great thing about English churchyards. It might assist if a way may very well be found — preferably on the time of the burial somewhat than later when discussing a memorial stone — to avoid any additional trauma to grieving families attributable to ignorance of the churchyard regulations.
Shiranikha Herbert is the Church Times’s legal correspondent.
Most dioceses have their very own churchyard regulations, rules, or guidance. In general, these contain certain provisions:
- Headstones must not exceed three feet in height, and have to be of a straightforward shape.
- Stone slabs designed to lie flat over the grave have to be flush with the grass in order that a mower can omit them.
- Small crosses must not exceed 4 feet in height. Crosses carved on the faces of the headstones are preferable.
- All memorials have to be of natural stone, quarried in Great Britain, or of English oak. Various kinds of granite, white marble, and mirror reflection are prohibited.
- Kerbs or railings enclosing grave spaces should not permitted except by special permission of the Chancellor.
- Pictures and pictures are prohibited.
- Minimum distances from the church wall might apply.
