But one whom you forgive anything, I forgive also; for indeed what I even have forgiven, if I even have forgiven anything, I did it in your sakes within the presence of Christ, in order that no advantage could be taken of us by Satan, for we will not be blind to his schemes. 2 Corinthians 2:10-11
Harboring bitterness might be considered one of the best ways the enemy spoils relationships and in addition rips us off of God’s blessings. If unforgiveness was left alone in our hearts, it might be poison enough, but Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians that the enemy uses unforgiveness to reap the benefits of us. It isn’t just set inside our souls; it becomes a tool within the enemy’s hand.
Unforgiveness can become bitterness. Scripture warns us of bitterness’ power:
See to it that nobody comes in need of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness bobbing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled… Hebrews 12:15
There are only a number of places in Scripture where I see definite “grace dams” in someone’s life, and bitterness is considered one of them! I would like every drop of God’s grace in my life that I can get – so if holding onto bitterness robs me of that grace, then I would like to do whatever it takes to rid my heart of it! Working through unforgiveness is the important thing to washing bitterness out of our lives.
An in depth relative of unforgiveness is anger. It’s one other natural human emotion the enemy so sneakily uses against us.
BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; don’t let the sun go down in your anger, and don’t give the devil a possibility. Ephesians 4:26-27
God knows things in life will make us mad, but His Word warns us not to permit that anger to stay in our hearts overnight. When we allow anger to fester, the enemy gets “opportunity” or a foothold in our lives. That word there in Greek is identical word used to explain a location the military would use in battle. I don’t want the enemy to have a military outpost in my emotions or my marriage – so whatever it takes, the anger can’t stay!
On the note of anger, I’ve known many Christians who cite “righteous anger” and in addition this passage from Ephesians as in the event that they are passes for us to be indignant. When I can, I ask, “Why do you would like the best to be indignant? Why do you would like it to have anger in your heart?” I’ve seen the lasting fruit of anger. I’ve experienced its destruction quite personally. I don’t want it in my life. James tells us the “anger of man doesn’t accomplish the righteousness of God” (James 1:20).
Unprocessed emotions and hurts are tools the enemy often tries to make use of against us. We are sensible to safeguard our marriage through prayer over this area of our lives. Sometimes, long conversations and even outside help are needed. Whatever means essential, we’re healthier as individuals and as a family once we are aware of our emotional responses and navigate them with grace and the guidance of Scripture.
(If you’d like more help processing your emotions, Soul Sorting is a resource that is likely to be helpful.)
Marriage is a superb relationship experience. But to be married well requires greater than most of us imagine when standing on the altar. We are sensible to speculate all we will within the health of our marriage. A bit of that nurturing is “weeding the garden” of our relationship. The enemy can are available so small and unassuming, the identical way a weed sprouts up next to a seedling. If we don’t tend the weeds, they find yourself larger than all we’ve planted after which choke out the nice plants, so that they can’t bear fruit. I hope that is a superb start for methods to prayerfully “weed” the garden of your love so it may possibly bear all of the sweet fruit God intended for you!
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