One of essentially the most difficult things to do in life is to forgive someone who doesn’t deserve forgiveness. This is certainly one of the best obstacles to someone who desires to grow their faith. It might be such a stumbling block to maneuver beyond the hurt of the past that another person has caused. The word gospel means “Good news.” If you might be someone who struggles to forgive, I even have excellent news for you. The Bible offers solutions.
When Forgiveness Feels Out of Reach
Perhaps you may have not been capable of forgive someone who wronged you, because you are feeling very similar to my friend, Michael. Today, Michael is a missionary to the Philippines, and on the age of seventy-four, he has spent a lifetime serving the Lord in ministry. Although he loved the Lord and faithfully served Him, he couldn’t bring himself to forgive his father as he knew he needed to. The last time he saw his father, Michael was only twelve years old. In a drunken rage, he picked his mother up off the bottom and threw her stomach-first into the coffee table while she was nine months pregnant. Worse yet, this was not the primary beating the family had taken.
Michael grew up under an abusive father. His mother, his siblings, and even he himself suffered a lot once they didn’t deserve it. Michael recently spoke on the church I pastor, Preaching Christ Church, and told us the riveting story of how God led him to once and for all, forgive his dad. Throughout his pastoral profession, he would counsel with individuals who struggled with forgiveness, while all along struggling himself. The tricky part is that he would think he had forgiven his father, until something would occur that will resurface all of those old feelings, taking him back to square one—unforgiveness.
Forgiveness Is a Close Encounter with Grace
Years ago, he was speaking at a church in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He needed to drive many of the night to make it back home and was starting to get sleepy. To keep himself awake, he searched the radio dial until he heard the voice of a preacher. He was surprised when the radio preacher said tonight I’m preaching on forgiveness. Michael explained that he had not considered his dad in months until that moment, and unexpectedly, his dad and terrible memories flashed through his mind. It was much easier to show the radio off than to face those memories. However, to his amazement, as soon as he reached to show it off, the radio preacher said, “Don’t turn me off. There is a preacher listening who needs to listen to these words tonight.”
Michael knew in his heart that this message was for him. He said he threw his hands up and said, “Okay, God, you may have my attention.” This radio preacher began to elucidate that the rationale most individuals are unable to forgive is that they feel like it will make what the person did to them not matter. Michael went on to elucidate how this was exactly how he unconsciously felt. If he truly forgave his dad, then that will mean all of the beatings they suffered weren’t valid. This radio preacher correctly explained that to forgive someone doesn’t mean that what they did to you doesn’t matter, but what forgiveness does is it frees you from allowing their sin to grow to be your sin by holding on to unforgiveness.
Michael said that night he pulled his automotive over and, for the primary time in his life, truly forgave his father. Do why he was capable of do that? It is because scripture says that those that have been forgiven are capable of forgive (Ephesians 4:32). When Michael realized that by letting go of the hurt of the past, it didn’t change the facts of what happened to him, he was then capable of go forward. Weeks later, he contacted his father, and his dad asked him to return visit him. It was such a difficult thing to do, because Michael had not seen him since he was twelve years old. Because Michael had experienced God’s grace and God’s forgiveness, he was capable of lead his father to the Lord. His dad passed away shortly after that, but today, Michael has a novel peace that each one is forgiven between him and God and him and his father. Do this peace? Do you would like this peace? It might be yours in case you follow the recommendation of Ephesians 4:32,
“Be kind to at least one one other, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, as God in Christ forgave you.”
The real query will not be, “Does the one that wronged you deserve forgiveness?” No, the true query is, “Do I deserve God’s forgiveness?” That is the gorgeous thing about grace. None of us deserves it, but those that have received it might, by the ability of God, extend it to others.
A Prayer to Lead You toward Forgiveness and Allow You to Let Go of Past Hurt
Lord Jesus,
You know the struggle I even have had with forgiveness. You know that I wouldn’t have the ability inside myself to let what happened to me go, but you do have the ability, and I accept and receive your help to forgive. The one who wronged me will not be deserving of my forgiveness, just as I’m not deserving of Yours. Yet, you continue to offer me your grace. Right now, in Jesus’ Name, I give that very same grace to the one that hurt me. May you forgive them as you may have forgiven me. May I forgive them together with your unique love, joy, and style. I select forgiveness in Jesus’ Name.
Amen.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Antonio Guillem
Chad’s pastoral profession has not been defined by blindness. Rather, it’s his clear, biblical teaching that continues to grow an audience. He has traveled through forty nations, training pastors and strengthening churches.
Today, Chad teaches people to trust a God they can’t see. His days are full of the things he loves most: leading, speaking, writing, and in fact, coffee! He is a spiritual content creator. By God’s grace, he’s emerging as a trusted spiritual voice in people’s lives. Chad can have blindness, but blindness doesn’t have him.
