My teenage children have taught me that the conversation I would like to have about mental health, is not the identical one which they need. Much of my work and ministry has been related to emotional and mental health because of this, I probably speak about it a bit an excessive amount of at home. Around here it is not unusual to listen to things like, “I’m not depressed dad”. Or “I do not need a counselling session; I just must get on with my homework.”
I suppose that I’m not unlike many parents today who worry that their children is perhaps quietly swallowed up by what has been described within the press as a ‘mental health epidemic’ amongst our young people. NHS England recently reported that 1 in 5 young people aged 8-16 had a probable mental health disorder, a part of a gradual increase on previous years. That’s an enormous statistic for an anxious parent to soak up and so it is not surprising that it dictates the form of discussions we’re having with our teenagers.
Those common conversations are experienced by our kids as being like subtle screening calls where the parent is anxiously probing for a notable cause for concern. It routinely puts them on edge, they usually inevitably feel pressure to reassure the parent that nothing is improper. Of course, every parent (and young person) must bear in mind and accepting of the indisputable fact that we are able to all be impacted by mental illness. If that is the case, getting skilled medical support as quickly as possible is actually necessary.
However, for 4 out of 5 young people who will not be their current experience, and here is the challenge: we want these young people to be completely happy to speak about their mental wellbeing, and potentially construct a bank of helpful strategies, whilst not being turned off from the mental health conversation. I think that this may only be done if we turn down the intensity, reduce the ‘clinical’ language and make emotional wellbeing a component of our on a regular basis conversation.
The fact is that the majority children, no matter a diagnosis, are struggling emotionally in our troubled and pressuring world. The charity Mental Health Foundation recently polled that as much as 60% of young people have felt unable to deal with the pressure to succeed (or to not fail). These are the conversations that our teenagers are wanting to have with us, as long as we do not let our own fears for them hijack the direction of travel.
It can be true that the tools an individual develops to support their wellbeing can have a preventative effect in relation to their mental health. As reported by Mayo Clinic in 2023, “Resilience can also enable you take care of things that increase the chance of mental health conditions, reminiscent of being bullied or having trauma. If you’ve gotten a mental health condition, being resilient can enable you cope higher.”
Resilience is a way of describing how we navigate change and challenge. Bear Grylls – whom I co-wrote the book Mind Fuel for Young Explorers – Simple Ways to Build Mental Resilience with – describes it like a climbing rope. Good ropes should stretch by about 1/3 if you fall on them. That elasticity slows you down gently and safely. But if a rope hasn’t been cared for or has been left under load for too long, it could lose its flex altogether and if that happens, if you fall you find yourself injured. Young people (and adults) have to be pro-active in developing their resilience, especially in a world that’s so alive with threat and challenge.
Far from being a disconnected cerebral activity, resilience work can have immediate advantages on the lives of young people, helping them navigate the stress of college to managing strong emotions and coping with anxious parents.
The New Testament is awash with amazing examples of resilience epitomised by Pauls teaching in Ephesians 4:12 “I even have learned the key of being content in any and each situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do the whole lot through him who gives me strength.” Resilience work is an excellent place to point out relevant and practical scripture is today, it is a discipleship conversation that gives each practical and spiritual applications for young people. Giving them the words, the mentalities and the religion to maintain going when life gets tough.
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