What do you do when your worst nightmare becomes reality? A few years ago, Lisa and I faced the unimaginable: we lost our precious daughter, LeeBeth. The pain was more profound than words can capture. Yet, in the guts of that anguish, God met us with grace and purpose. If you’re navigating heartache, grief, or disappointment, know this: you may bring all of it to God. You can “altar” it.
LeeBeth’s Story: A Life Full of Love and Struggles
LeeBeth was an incredible young woman. From the time she was a bit girl, she was right there with us as we planted and built Fellowship Church. I had the privilege of baptizing her just outside our church. She was creative, compassionate, and energetic. She had a novel combination of artistic brilliance and sharp leadership—a rare mix that allowed her to attach deeply with people while also guiding them.
But like many, she carried burdens beneath the surface. LeeBeth struggled with anxiety and bouts of depression, and after a number of difficult relationships, she began to binge drink. She wasn’t the sort of person anyone would label a “party girl,” but she fell right into a cycle of using alcohol to numb her pain. We discuss this more in our book, but what I would like to emphasise here is that she was so rather more than her struggles. LeeBeth’s heart was beautiful. She longed to be whole and to be utilized by God in big ways.
Understanding Pain: The Great Equalizer
We live in a world saturated with pain. Whether it’s the lack of a loved one, a devastating breakup, financial disaster, or a struggle with anxiety and addiction, pain doesn’t discriminate. In fact, pain is the nice equalizer. But what sets us apart as believers isn’t the absence of pain—it’s how we reply to it.
Proverbs 3:5–6 tells us, “Trust within the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your personal understanding; in all of your ways undergo him, and he’ll make your paths straight.” This passage has turn into an anchor for our family. It reminds us that even when life doesn’t make sense, God’s path through pain results in healing and hope.
The “What” of Pain: Trust
When LeeBeth passed away, I remember asking, “God, what do I do now?” The first answer was trust. Trust within the Lord with all of your heart.
To trust God fully means relinquishing control. When you give up your pain to Him, you’re not admitting defeat—you’re moving into His care. Trusting Him doesn’t mean you could have to grasp the why. It simply means believing that His love is bigger than the storm.
The “Why” of Pain: Purpose
We often ask, “Why is that this happening?” Sometimes, the pain we face is a results of others’ decisions or our own. Ultimately, though, pain exists because we live in a broken world. Romans 8:22 describes all creation as groaning in pain, like a lady in labor. This brokenness affects all the things.
Even when you may’t see the complete picture, God’s purpose is unfolding. Instead of getting stuck within the “what ifs” and regrets, acknowledge that Jesus is extending His nail-scarred hand to tug you out of the pool of despair. He has a purpose to your life—one which can use your pain for His glory.
The “When” of Pain: Now
Proverbs 3:6 urges us to acknowledge God in all our ways. When? Now. The moment you are feeling overwhelmed, that’s the time to show to God. Don’t wait until you could have all of the answers or feel strong enough. God meets you right where you might be, in your brokenness.
We had every reason to remain within the pit of sorrow. But God gently reminded us that His timing and presence are immediate. Healing begins while you invite Him into the moment.
The “Where” of Pain: A Path Forward
The Bible guarantees that once we trust and acknowledge God, He will make our paths straight. This doesn’t mean life becomes easy, however it does mean that God is carving a way through the wilderness. Imagine Him as a guide with a machete, clearing the comb and smoothing the trail.
Psalm 37:23–24 says, “The steps of a person are established by the Lord… when he falls, he is not going to be hurled headlong, since the Lord is the One who holds his hand.” God isn’t just watching from a distance—He’s holding your hand, leading you thru the chaos.
Altar it, Don’t Alter it
In Romans 12:1, Paul writes, “Offer your bodies as a living sacrifice…” This verse reminds us that we’re called to put our pain, plans, and dreams on God’s altar.
Here’s where I would like to be clear: we’re not called to alter God’s plan (changing it to suit our preferences). Instead, we’re called to altar it—to put it down before Him. That’s what Lisa and I even have chosen to do every single day. We place our grief on God’s altar, trusting that He will bring beauty from ashes.
I used to be writing a message on Abraham and Isaac after I felt the burden of our loss. I had just written, “Where’s the lamb? The Lord will provide.” Living that truth meant trusting that the identical God who provided for Abraham was with us.
Purpose within the Pain
You may wonder, “What’s the purpose of this suffering?” While we don’t at all times understand the small print, we all know that God uses pain to refine us and to attract us closer to Him.
Take Solomon, for instance. The wealthiest and wisest man who ever lived wrote Proverbs 3:5–6 to his son, urging him to trust God. Yet later, Solomon strayed, accumulating wealth, wives, and distractions that pulled him astray.
In Ecclesiastes, he reflects on the futility of chasing earthly pleasures and concludes, “Remember your Creator in the times of your youth” (12:1). Solomon’s story is a sobering reminder that even probably the most blessed amongst us can lose sight of God’s path.
Light for the Path
Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light-weight on my path.” When life feels dark, God’s Word becomes our guide. I remember a childhood walk with my father to a lake at sunset. He handed me a flashlight and told me to light the way in which. When we encountered water moccasins on the trail, fear gripped me. But my dad took my hand and steadied me.
In the identical way, our heavenly Father holds us once we’re terrified, guiding us through the risks of life. His Word illuminates each step, giving us direction when we are able to’t see the way in which ahead.
What’s on Your Altar?
Is there a burden you’ve been attempting to carry alone? Maybe it’s the pain of loneliness, addiction, or uncertainty. God is inviting you to put it on His altar.
Chris Tomlin’s song How Great Is Our God will at all times hold deep meaning for our family. It’s a reminder that even in our darkest moments, God’s greatness surrounds us. And His greatness isn’t only for special moments—it’s for each step of the trail through pain.
Take the Next Step
If you’re able to experience God’s healing and peace, we invite you to “altar” your life to Him. Trust in His purpose, even when you may’t see the consequence.
To provide help to take that next step, we’d like to give you the primary chapter of Pastor Ed’s book A Path Through Pain totally free. This chapter offers practical guidance and hope for anyone walking through difficult seasons.
Sign up today and start your journey toward healing and wholeness. No matter how deep your pain, God’s path results in peace. Place it on the altar and watch how He transforms your story.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Ryan McVay
Through Ed Young Ministries, Ed extends his passion for helping people grow of their faith by providing inspirational content, online sermons, and practical resources for Christian living. With a heart for equipping church leaders, Ed launched C3 Global, CreativePastors.com, and the Creative Church Conference (C3)—initiatives that provide coaching, teaching, and resources to hundreds of pastors and ministry leaders. He can also be a prolific writer, addressing topics comparable to leadership, marriage, and Christian living. His New York Times bestselling book, Sexperiment: 7 Days to Lasting Intimacy with Your Spouse, challenges couples to strengthen their relationships through biblical principles. Other popular titles include The Marriage Mirror, The Creative Leader, and Outrageous, Contagious Joy.
For powerful messages, life-changing resources, and ways to grow in your faith, visit Ed Young Ministries.
