In Christian marriages, sexual intimacy is about greater than just physical connection—it’s a spiritual and emotional bond designed by God to strengthen the connection between husband and wife. Yet, despite its importance, sexual intimacy can often change into a difficult topic, especially when communication is lacking. Recently, I had a conversation with Alex and Kadi Dutton, the founders of Every Love Intimates, a subscription service that helps Christian couples rekindle sexual intimacy in a meaningful way. Through their journey and business, they’ve learned that communication is vital to an intimate marriage.
For many couples, talking about sexual intimacy feels uncomfortable, and that discomfort can result in an absence of communication. In the early days of their marriage, Alex and Kadi struggled with this as well. “We had different expectations about sexual intimacy,” Alex explained, “and it wasn’t until we actually began communicating that things began to enhance.”
The Bible encourages this level of openness in marriage. Ephesians 4:2-3 says, “Be completely humble and delicate; be patient, bearing with each other in love. Make every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” This Scripture reminds us that marriage is about unity, and that unity begins with communication—especially with regards to difficult or sensitive topics like sexual sexual intimacy.
Alex and Kadi shared the importance of starting small when communicating about sexual intimacy. If you and your spouse struggle to discuss this area of your marriage, begin with little steps. Here are a number of ways to open up:
- Checking in recurrently: Set aside time recurrently to examine in together with your spouse about your emotional and physical needs. These conversations don’t need to be long or formal, but they supply a possibility to make sure you’re each on the identical page.
- Choose the Right Moment: Timing and setting matter when discussing sensitive topics. Pick a relaxed, distraction-free time whenever you each feel relaxed and may concentrate on one another.
- Use Resources: If you’re undecided the best way to start the conversation, tools like Every Love Intimates offer resources akin to a “pleasure planner” that helps guide couples through discussions about their desires, needs, and the best way to prioritize sexual sexual intimacy of their relationship.
Vulnerability is a vital a part of any conversation about sexual intimacy. It may be difficult to specific your needs, especially in case you’re unsure how your spouse will respond. However, Alex and Kadi emphasized that vulnerability is vital to deeper sexual sexual intimacy. When you share your fears, needs, and even discomforts, you permit your spouse to higher understand you and construct trust. When couples are vulnerable with one another, they create an area of safety where sexual intimacy can thrive.
Effective communication requires effort and practice. To help couples construct stronger communication around sexual intimacy, Alex and Kadi offered some practical suggestions:
- Be Honest About Your Needs: Share your needs clearly, but additionally take heed to your spouse’s needs. Honest, two-way communication is crucial for improving sexual intimacy. As Kadi shared, it wasn’t until she began being honest with Alex about what she needed that they began to see improvements of their relationship.
- Set Expectations Together: Having a conversation about expectations—whether it’s about frequency, emotional connection, or physical needs—may also help make sure you’re each on the identical page.
- Pray Together: Prayer is a strong tool for growing in sexual sexual intimacy. Praying together as a pair invites God into your relationship and strengthens your spiritual connection.
- Make It a Habit: Don’t wait until problems arise to begin talking about sexual intimacy. Make communication a daily a part of your marriage. The more you talk openly about your needs and desires, the simpler it becomes to keep up a robust, intimate connection.
For many Christian couples, the challenge of talking about sexual intimacy stems from past teachings about sex. While it’s true that God calls us to purity before marriage, it’s also true that sexual intimacy is an exquisite gift meant to be celebrated inside marriage. Genesis 2:24 reminds us, “Therefore a person shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, they usually shall change into one flesh.”
However, despite this, many couples struggle to prioritize sexual intimacy of their marriages. Between work, family, and other responsibilities, it’s easy for sexual intimacy to take a back seat. But Alex and Kadi’s story reminds us that this a part of marriage is value fighting for, and communication is important to it. By talking openly, sharing vulnerably, and praying together, we are able to grow closer to our spouses and experience the fullness of sexual intimacy that God intended for marriage.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/fizkes
