What Is Proper Self-Love?
If loving God completely is to like him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, then what does it mean to like ourselves appropriately? What does that appear to be? I define loving ourselves appropriately as selecting to consider that what God says about us is true. Such a alternative will involve discipline because it runs counter to the cultural narrative surrounding us. The world will define us by default. Do nothing, and it will be greater than joyful to inform you what to pursue, what to honor, and what to like. In short, the world will inform you who you might be.
Imagine going up an escalator that is taking place. I remember doing this once I was a child on a down escalator in a mall. I desired to see how briskly I could go against the grain. If you stop in the center, though, there isn’t any neutrality. You’re going to go down. There’s a relentless pull, an ever-present pull of the world, the flesh, and the devil to tether us to this world and to its value system. I prefer to put it this fashion: “Any dead fish can float downstream.” You need to be alive to go against the flow, against the culture, against the present of our time. So the one way we will be made alive in that manner is thru the lifetime of Christ in us as mediated through our exposure to the word, His church, and our response to those in our loving relationship with him. Thus, God’s word and His people help to reshape our understanding of who we’re—namely, individuals who belong to God.
What Does It Mean to Root Your True Identity in God’s Word?
When we consider our identity, the difficulty of who and whose we’re becomes a critical matter. This is of crucial importance because whatever defines us determines the whole lot. We’re either going to be defined by the world or by the word. When we’re defined by God’s word, the principles change. In sharp contrast with the world, we won’t be wholly determined by parents, peer groups, or society but somewhat by the One who loves us unconditionally and works steadfastly to evolve us to His image—to rework us into what he has made us to be.
Once again, we must ask our Lord to assist us to see ourselves as He sees us. Imagine, for instance, you went to a celebration, and also you didn’t know anyone at that party. Everyone’s got their little name tags. “Hello, my name is…” And so that you go as much as an individual with a reputation tag that claims John: “Hello, John, nice to fulfill you. Tell me…” And you ask them a matter. The usual query in such circumstances is, in fact, What do you do? But as a substitute, you ask a distinct query. This is a thought experiment, and I’m not necessarily suggesting that you are trying it in a social setting: “Hey, John, who’re you?” Not being prepared for such an earnest and soul-searching query, John will probably answer based on what he does. He says, “Well, I’m a salesman.” “I’m sorry, John, I didn’t ask about what you do. I asked you who you might be.” Well, then he might inform you where he got here from. “Sorry, John. I didn’t ask you where you got here from. I asked you who you might be.” Now he might inform you about his family. “I didn’t ask you about your loved ones. I asked you who you might be.”
As this thought experiment gets more awkward by the query, we’re delivered to the disconcerting conclusion that John doesn’t have a clue who he’s because he’s fabricated a false self-based on having and doing, but not one which has anything to do with being. His sense of identity is all based upon his achievements or his possessions. Conversely, the scriptures give us a more robust understanding of our true identity, and we will answer that query by saying, “I’ll inform you who I’m. I’m a baby of the living God,” and there are lots of other things that we will answer that query with from scripture.
How Can We Embrace Being a Child of God?
Being a baby of God implies that we belong. We are adopted into the family of God, and adoptions don’t occur by accident. Belonging to God means we aren’t an afterthought. Instead, each one in all us has a purpose and a plan that’s intrinsic to who we’re in Christ. God has prepared us from the times of eternity, and he’s known us and loved us. He’s got a purpose and a plan that is as wealthy because it is remarkable. When we take a look at the narratives of Scripture, we have now a wealth of affirmations for answering the query of who we’re. To be a baby of God is a changeless reason for being. It’s unchanging because it can proceed whether we’re young or old, wealthy or poor, married or single. No external circumstances can compromise this wealthy identity. If God defines us, we will walk with regular confidence in who He is and who we’re.
Let’s turn briefly to among the vivid imagery of identity that we encounter in Scripture. According to John 15, we’re branches of the true vine. In the identical chapter, Jesus says, “No longer do I call you you slaves. I call you friends. I’ve made known to you the things that I actually have not revealed to all.” Examples can easily be multiplied. We’ve been justified and redeemed. We’ve been declared righteous. We’ve been paid for and acquired with a price. We’ve been let out from the law of sin and of death. As children of God, we’re fellow heirs with Christ. God’s word is an unlimited storehouse on the query of who we’re, one which grants us peace and joy. Given the eagerness of the world to define us by itself terms, working our way through this list of what God’s word says about who we’re could be a helpful spiritual exercise.
The One Who Loves You Most Is the One Who Knows You Best
When God says he loves us, it’s regardless of our natural condition. There’s something about His love that transcends our own performance because if His love was warranted by our behavior, we might be in deep trouble indeed. The reality is that regardless of our depravity, our agendas, and our folly, He still loves us, and He knows us through and thru. To phrase the matter starkly, the One who loves you most is the One who knows you best. With Him, there aren’t any secrets; nothing needs to be uncovered. If we truly take this astonishing fact to heart, it grants us an enduring sense of security. If God loves me on this radical way (regardless of my many shortcomings), then my proper response is to like Him in return to follow Him and obey all that He calls me to do.
God’s love is beyond our grasp. Why would He love us in this fashion? It’s actually not based on merit or achievement. No, He loved us because He selected to like us. God’s unconditional love is the premise for true security on this world. We have been sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, so we have now security on this world. Consider the unconventional implications of the scripture that tells us that we at the moment are seated with Christ at the proper hand of the Father within the heavenly places. That’s an astonishing concept that our deepest self, even now, is there with Him. True, we may not feel that way, but God doesn’t tell us to feel that way. He says to decide on to consider it’s true regardless of your feelings and your experiences on the contrary.
He has called us to faith, to hope, and to like. His desire for us is that we navigate through this world and this pilgrim existence with that confidence and clarity of thought in order that we’re now not defined by the false messages and the mindset of this world. Instead, we’re now being defined by the everlasting word who spoke the cosmos into being and spoke us into being as well. That’s an ideal basis for true security, true significance, and true satisfaction on this world.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Marjan Apostolovic
Kenneth Boa equips people to like well (being), learn well (knowing), and live well (doing). He is a author, teacher, speaker, and mentor and is the President of Reflections Ministries, The Museum of Created Beauty, and Trinity House Publishers.
Publications by Dr. Boa include Conformed to His Image, Handbook to Prayer, Handbook to Leadership, Faith Has Its Reasons, Rewriting Your Broken Story, Life within the Presence of God, Leverage, and Recalibrate Your Life.
Dr. Boa holds a B.S. from Case Institute of Technology, a Th.M. from Dallas Theological Seminary, a Ph.D. from New York University, and a D.Phil. from the University of Oxford in England.
