When you don’t like your spouse, it’s easy to deal with all of the things that annoy you or make you sad. But Scripture encourages us to “take into consideration such things” which can be true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). In other words, deal with the positive points of your spouse and your marriage. What do you want?
Make an inventory of the qualities that originally drew you to your spouse. What about him/her made you smile? Reflect on the nice times you’ve shared, the ways they’ve supported you, and the nice memories you’ve experienced together. This shift in focus may also help soften your heart and remind you of the explanations you selected to like your spouse in the primary place.
It will also be helpful to specific gratitude on your spouse, even in small ways. We are inclined to consider what we are saying aloud. So give it a try. It may feel unfaithful or unnatural at first, but keep at it. Thank your spouse for what they do, acknowledge their efforts, and express your appreciation for his or her presence in your life. Gratitude is life-changing. It has a way of shifting your perspective and expanding your heart.
Loving your spouse while you don’t like your spouse is one among the toughest acts of marriage. Yet, it will possibly grow into one of the rewarding points of marriage. It’s a love that reflects Christ’s unconditional love for us even once we aren’t at our greatest. Remember, marriage is a journey, and there can be ups and downs. There can be seasons when love comes easily and seasons when it requires intentional effort. But through all of it, God is for you; He is with you, and He has given you the strength, grace, and love it’s good to fulfill your marriage vows and love your spouse as He loves you.
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