Many ancient cultures accepted the practice of arranged marriages: it helped them forge unions with other families that benefitted their tribal needs, social status, and spiritual views.
Not surprisingly, then, the Bible accommodates several examples of arranged marriages, like Isaac and Rebekah. Marty Solomon notes that arranged marriages didn’t necessarily mean the parents organized every part without their children’s feedback. So, we also see arranged marriages that mix the boys searching for a spouse with the families being significantly involved within the proceedings, like Jacob marrying Leah and Rachel.
In today’s Western and American cultures, marriage views have significantly shifted, emphasizing individual selection, romantic love, and private compatibility. This raises the query of how we should always view arranged marriages today. While arranged marriages still exist in certain cultures and communities, whether or not they needs to be practiced today is dependent upon individual values, cultural beliefs, and private convictions. The key consideration needs to be whether the arranged marriage fosters mutual respect, love, and a shared commitment to the connection.
What Does the Old Testament Say about Arranged Marriages?
While the Bible records instances of arranged marriages, it doesn’t command or mandate this practice.
Sometimes, God used to practice for good ends. God led the Israelites into the promised land and told them to not intermarry with the opposite nations.
“Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters to your sons, for they are going to turn your kids away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord’s anger will burn against you and can quickly destroy you.” (Deuteronomy 7:3-4)
One option to combat concerns about people turning their hearts away from the Lord was to rearrange marriages to spouses from the identical faith tradition.
One famous biblical example of arranged marriages is the story of Isaac and Rebekah, present in Genesis 24. Abraham was very old; his wife Sarah had died, and he wanted to seek out a wife for his son. However, he doesn’t want Isaac to marry a Canaanite woman, so he sends his servant back to his family’s territory to seek out a wife for Isaac. His servant found a lady named Rebekah.
It’s also interesting that there is no such thing as a indication that Isaac requested a wife. Granted, it was probably expected he would marry. E. Randolph Richards and Richard James explain of their book Misreading Scripture with Individualist Eyes that ancient cultures saw getting married and having families as deeply necessary—for one thing, ancient cultures didn’t have social security nets. Having children meant someone to look after aging parents. Still, Abraham appears to be the one taking the initiative. The Bible tells us that, on this case, God blessed the final result: Isaac loved Rebekah and was comforted after losing his mother.
The arranged marriage also seems sudden. There is not any sign that Rebekah, like Isaac, was searching for a spouse. Yet shortly after Abraham’s servant arrived, she was on her option to becoming Isaac’s wife. That may show that Rebekah was willing to leap of religion because the wedding seemed God-ordained.
The story also teaches us about balancing family involvement and consent in marriage. Rebekah had her family’s blessing to enter this marriage, but we also see she had a selection. Rebekah was not forced into the wedding. She was asked if she would go along with Abraham’s servant to marry Isaac. Abraham even gave his servant permission to return alone if the potential wife refused to return. Consent was necessary.
Does the New Testament Say Anything about Arranged Marriages?
Arranged marriages were still happening throughout the New Testament period, although the documents don’t discuss the practice much. Instead, the New Testament epistles and gospels emphasize a husband and wife’s roles inside a conjugal relationship. The principle stays the instruction and encouragement that two believers marry one another.
However, Christianity’s spread meant something else developed inside marriages, which still happens today. While marriages could have been arranged based on social or religious affiliations, that dynamic modified when one in all the spouses converted to Christ. This didn’t routinely end the wedding but added an extra element. Now, a believer was married to an unbeliever.
In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul advises people in these relationships. He encourages Christians to remain married if the unbeliever desires to stay in the wedding, especially for the kids’s profit. This speaks to God’s design for marriage: it’s speculated to be for all times. The commitment to marriage stays even in these scenarios.
How Common Are Arranged Marriages Today?
You might imagine that arranged marriages are long gone. However, that will not be the case. One article on Brides.com reports that half of all marriages worldwide are arranged, and 20 million couples today have arranged marriages. It does appear most arranged marriages today come from Asian and Middle Eastern cultures. In India, roughly 90 percent of all marriages are arranged.
Interestingly, the divorce rate amongst arranged marriages is about 4 percent, much lower than the alleged 40-50 percent divorce rate observed in marriages where individuals select their partners based on romantic love. While the precise reasons for this difference are complex, one possible explanation is spouses in arranged marriages may view their union as a lifelong commitment deeply rooted in cultural and familial expectations, perhaps with high shame involved if the wedding ends. Those who marry for love might approach marriage with different expectations, which could contribute to the next divorce rate.
Should Christians Choose Arranged Marriages?
Is it a superb idea for Christians to think about arranged marriages? If you go by the numbers, those in arranged marriages usually tend to stay married. However, there is no such thing as a biblical mandate that claims Christians should do that.
It’s also price considering the complications that arranged marriages can result in, especially in cultures that don’t give the kids much consent. Families may pick someone they imagine could be the best match for his or her child, which can not fit the kid’s feelings. Disappointment and tension may follow.
Most people today who’ve arranged marriages accomplish that for cultural reasons greater than spiritual ones. Some may do what Abraham’s servant did and pray for God to guide us to the best mate. However, it could not work out as easily because it did then. For one thing, Rebekah and Isaac lived in a culture that offered strong family support, so that they had structures to assist them maintain the wedding. Today which may be true in some Middle Eastern churches, but most Christian communities within the West are crammed with people from all different cultures and backgrounds, making arranged marriages that may last long run far less likely.
Most people today (at the least in Western culture) find and select the person they are going to marry. Granted, that freedom may not make the choice easier; sometimes, it makes things tougher because nobody wants to decide on the incorrect mate.
Arranged Marriages Today More Cultural than Spiritual
However, as God helped Abraham’s servant discover a wife for Isaac, I feel God may also assist you to find the best mate. We could perhaps say that if we seek God and walk in obedience to him while seeing a spouse, we discover an arranged marriage. The difference is that it will not be done by culture or family but by the hand of God.
The New Testament focuses on maintaining marriages and searching for to marry individuals who share your faith. The emphasis shows the necessary thing is finding a spouse who shares your faith, arranged or not.
Whether you come together through an arranged marriage or by selection, the principles for a working marriage remain the identical. The same amount of affection, work, commitment, and prayer are required no matter the way you enter your marriage. The goal will not be ultimately to get married but to remain married.
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This article is a component of our Bible resource for understanding the importance and meaning of biblical phrases and concepts. Here are our hottest Bible articles to grow in your knowledge of God’s Word:
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Top 10 Bible Stories for Kids
“Iron Sharpens Iron” in Proverbs 27:17
“Fearfully and Wonderfully Made” in Psalm 139
“Be Still and Know That I’m God” in Psalm 46:10
“No Weapon Formed Against Me Shall Prosper” – Isaiah 54:17
