Men who’re scuffling with gay desires must come to grasp three truths of their healing journey. This will not be an exhaustive list, nevertheless it is a very good place to start out.
The first truth is that nobody is born with hardwired homosexual desires. This argument is a creation of those that enjoy their sin and intend to make an excuse to live the best way they wish to. Convincing oneself that you just were born with homosexual desires is nothing greater than a sinful coping mechanism. If you possibly can persuade yourself that you just were born with homosexual desires, then you definitely can persuade yourself that the desires and the novel behaviors you bask in usually are not sinful. “I used to be born this manner baby. What do I even have to repent for?”
The Bible says that we’re born with a sin nature (Ps. 51:5), not that we’re born with predetermined genetic sinful desires. Just like there isn’t a such thing as an “I would like to steal a pack of gum from the shop gene,” or an “I would like to cheat on my math exam gene,” there isn’t a such thing as an “I would like to commit homosexual acts gene.” The idea that folks are born with a genetic proclivity towards homosexual behavior will not be taught anywhere within the Bible. This is in direct opposition to what the Bible says concerning the location of our sinful desires. This brings us to point number two.
The Bible says that sinful desires, including sinful sexual desires, come from the center (Matt. 15:19), not our genetics. And that through the ability of Christ we are able to have our desires modified (Gal. 5:24). That we are able to have our minds renewed and find true and lasting freedom from the sin that’s in our lives (Rom.12:2). Jesus said that a person who looks at a lady with lustful intent has committed adultery in his heart (Matt. 5:28), not his genetic code.
Nowhere within the Bible are we instructed to ask God to vary the desires of our chromosomes. Rather, through repentance and the supernatural work of the Spirit in our lives, we are able to change into more like Christ and have our hearts transformed (1 Thess. 4:3-8). This brings us to our third point, which is basically two points in a single.
Men who struggle with gay desires must understand that their sinful desires to attach with men in a relationally disordered way is a results of a fancy assortment of wounds which were sexualized. These men must also recognize, believing fully of their hearts, that homosexuality is contrary to God’s design for gender, marriage, and human sexuality.
Men were designed by God to relate platonically to at least one one other as equal brothers. Fundamentally, homosexuality is based on men regarding each other not as equals, but inside a sexualized hierarchy of dominance and submission. Truthfully, homosexuality is a desire/behavior to emasculate and/or be emasculated by one other man. In homosexual world these are called “tops and bottoms.”
When it involves gender expression in response to God’s design, a husband will all the time express his masculinity by “giving,” and his wife will all the time express her femininity by “receiving.” A husband and his wife change into one-flesh in marriage because a husband and his wife were created from the identical flesh to start with (Gen. 2:23). Homosexuality takes this beautiful design and distorts it. A person was never meant to “give” to a different man, and/or “receive” from one other man.
Homosexuality is thus, an attempt at recreating that relational dynamic, of which is proper for a husband and wife, but is improper for 2 individuals who share the identical gender. Men who struggle with homosexuality must recognize that the will to have interaction in any behavior that’s homosexual, is a desire for something rebellious. Something rebellious against God’s design for gender, marriage, and human sexuality. The world says embrace these desires. God calls us to holiness (1 Thess. 4:3-8). A person for instance, who desires a homosexual context, must humbly stand before God, recognizing it as a disordered desire. And that underneath the sinful desire for a sinful sexual context is a wound. The non-sexual desire, for instance, to receive the love of an absent father figure is a quite common wound amongst men who struggle with homosexual desires. And so, beyond repentance, there must even be a recognition in the person that there are numerous wounds underneath the surface that have to be handled. This will not be just “I desire sinful sexual contexts,” but in addition, “I even have wounds that I even have sexualized from childhood that I want to bring before the Father who loves me.”
Healing requires quite a lot of reflection work. It may be painful to rehash the childhood wounds and family of origin issues which have negatively affected us, nevertheless it is among the Most worthy work to be done on this life. Men must be encouraged to know that God can be with them every step of the best way. Even in essentially the most painful parts of the journey.
In my very own life, because the Lord did this for me, I spotted that on the core of my homosexual desires was a masculinity crisis, which began formulating way back to early childhood. This was as a consequence of many aspects in my home life and social settings. Recognizing that I had sexualized men during puberty in an try to satiate my very own masculinity crisis, and cope with the layers of wounds I used to be scuffling with on the core, has been a component of my healing journey. I didn’t find healing from exclusively praying that God would take away the homosexual desires, but by concurrently having the Lord go deep into the injuries of my heart that were giving life to the gay desires in the primary place.
Christian men who’re scuffling with gay desires usually are not only sealed with the Spirit of God, forgiven of all their sins, and given everlasting life, but are in a right relationship with the Father who loves them and longs to sanctify them. That implies that we are able to bring our sinful desires, childhood wounds, hurts, and pains to the Father, and ask Him to bring healing. We can ask Him to vary our desires in His Fatherly love. To help us see our sin the best way He sees our sin. As God begins to mature us in the religion and alter us from inside, the things we once wanted lose their power.
Perhaps you want to get a journal and write letters to the Lord. Be as vulnerable and inquisitive as possible. Talk to Him about what you might be going through. Ask him questions on the desires of your heart. Be expectant for Him to reply in your position of humility. Go on a walk with the Father. Ask Him to disclose to you your story. Ask Him to assist you to understand why you struggle with what you struggle with.
Get along with a buddy or two. Process one another’s stories, speak into each other’s lives, and pray together. Ask God to be your counselor. Ask to be stuffed with the wisdom and clarity you wish to be able to understand all of the complex portions of your story. The wounds which have caused you to struggle with gay desires in the primary place. Bring your wounds to the Father. Bringing them to the altar of homosexuality won’t ever offer you what you might be truly in search of. Only God can try this.
Having God as our Father is like having the very best therapist on the planet. And the good news is that you just do not have to pay for it. It was purchased with the blood of Jesus Christ 2,000 years ago. Humbly give up before Him, recognizing that homosexual desires and behaviors are sinful. That homosexual desires usually are not a results of genetics, but fairly a results of sexualized wounds from our life stories. God desires to assist you to process and understand why you struggle with what you struggle with and produce healing. He is the loving Father who cares.
By walking beside the Father as a son, the person who struggles with gay desires will find radical transformation and healing within the Lord. Healing is feasible. And praise be to the Father who provides that healing and makes us more like His Son Jesus Christ!
Taylor Simon Maxwell is the creator of The Desire Tree. He is a student at Dallas Theological Seminary. Follow him at https://x.com/TaylorSimonMaxÂ
Originally published on The Christian Post
