We are designed to increase forgiveness. I’ll attempt to not climb on my soapbox here—but let me get a toe up there for only a moment. I feel a lot of our views of forgiveness are unhelpful and might even be harmful. It will feel like I’m splitting hairs on a semantic difference—however the implications of this are huge. I feel Scripture teaches that there’s a posture of forgiveness in addition to practical/applied forgiveness. By practical, I don’t mean theoretical but actual.
Think of it this manner. Is everybody on the earth forgiven? Unless you’re a universalist, you’ll likely say, “No, every one is just not forgiven. In order for God to use that forgiveness, the person must repent and consider the gospel.” And yet, I feel such an individual would also acknowledge that forgiveness is quickly available to anyone who will call upon the name of the Lord. What you’re saying is that God has a posture of forgiveness and that forgiveness is applied upon repentance.
Ephesians 4:32 says that our forgiveness of others is “just as” the forgiveness that God has for us. I take that to mean that we’ve got a posture of forgiveness toward all and walk in actual forgiveness (we are able to apply that forgiveness) upon repentance.
Our definition and understanding of forgiveness are necessary because I’m about to take you to Matthew 18. The story there concerning the unforgiving servant is pretty blunt. Jesus principally tells us that if we don’t forgive, we is not going to be forgiven ourselves. That’s a tricky word. It’s here that we like to search out a strategy to wiggle and squirm out of Jesus’ words. But that’s not obligatory if we’ve got proper definitions of forgiveness.
Here in Matthew 18, we’ve got someone asking for forgiveness. They are begging to have their debt removed. This is not less than some indication of repentance here. If you withhold forgiveness from such a one, it’s a sign that it is advisable return to point #1 (and perhaps slide on all the way down to point #5). You cannot realize your need for forgiveness by drinking within the glory of getting received it after which turning to another person, asking for it, and denying it.
But what often happens here is that we bring out a verse like Matthew 18 and use it as a cudgel against someone who has been abused by one other. We tell them things such as you have to forgive. And what we mean by that is frequently something like, “Absorb the fee of it, don’t discuss it anymore, and pretend prefer it doesn’t exist. Now, go hug your abuser!”
Now, when someone has been abused, they most actually do have to work through having that posture of forgiveness. If they don’t have that, it should keep them in their very own prison. Things like it will morph into bitterness. So yes, every one must give forgiveness. But what that appears like is commonly pending upon the opposite party involved.
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