Have you ever loaned money to a friend with a promise of repayment, however the debt was never satisfied? Or perhaps you sold an item but didn’t receive the money you were due? As a matter of justice, we wish accounts to be kept. We want others to pay what they owe.
One of my first jobs involved debt collection. Thankfully, I didn’t work for a sleazy agency that harassed poor individuals who had no money. Instead, I worked for an organization that sold products and called other businesses to remind them about overdue invoices. Many times, people appreciated the nudge and paid their bills. In these cases, the corporate could proceed to purchase services in a mutually useful business relationship.
When the corporate didn’t pay the debt, nonetheless, it could now not purchase products. The business relationship was broken.
The debt of sin breaks relationships, too.
I remember my broken heart in third grade when my best friend said something mean. I hid and cried all through recess. That relationship never recovered. Little did I do know life would grow tougher. Just a few years later, my father’s neglect and my parents’ divorce damaged my family and skewed future adult relationships.
Since then, I’ve endured much worse offenses. I cannot consider any sin more painful than an attack against an innocent person I really like. Must I forgive? And how could I possibly restore the connection? What if the offender’s not sorry? I’ve wept and wrestled with these questions as I sought to mimic Jesus. In the method, I’ve learned more about what forgiveness is—and is just not.
The First Broken Relationship
Before Adam and Eve sinned, they enjoyed perfect fellowship with God. They walked and talked with Him in a transparent relationship. God revealed Himself to them, and so they hid nothing from Him. The Bible says, “The man and his wife were each naked, but they felt no shame” (Genesis 2:25 NLT).
When Adam and Eve sinned, their seamless reference to God was torn. Fear gripped them because they owed God a debt for his or her transgression, but they’d no technique to pay. Just as monetary debts don’t disappear when an individual physically dies, the spiritual death of Adam and Eve didn’t cancel their obligation to God. The debt of sin passed down through generations and still torments people today.
In His infinite mercy, God provided a brief solution for the growing debt of His people. He accepted the sacrifice of animals to cover their sins. Later, God sent His Son, Jesus, to accept the penalty so people would now not must offer animals. His death on the cross paid off your complete crushing balance of sin for all people. If you’ve trusted Jesus for salvation, then your debt of sin is paid in full.
We must not ever forget the sacrifice of His Son cost Father God dearly. He and Jesus had at all times enjoyed perfect unity since before time began. They, together with the Holy Spirit, are one. If you might be a parent of a toddler who’s been hurt, you possibly can understand a small taste of Father God’s anguish as He watched evil people torture and kill His innocent Son.
God’s Command
While Jesus lived on earth, He taught us to hope to God about our sins. He instructed us to say, “And forgive us our sins, for we ourselves also forgive everyone who’s indebted to us. And don’t lead us into temptation” (Luke 11:4 NASB).
Jesus showed us a pattern to follow regarding sin. When we disobey God, we must always repent and ask for pardon. In response, He washes away guilt and restores us to a right relationship with Him. This pattern carries over into our relationships with others. If someone offends us, they need to show remorse and ask for our forgiveness. Following God’s example, we forgive their debt to us (Colossians 3:13).
The Burden of Unforgiveness
What happens when someone can’t—or won’t—express regret? Or perhaps they are saying they’re sorry, but then proceed to commit the identical sin. Peter posed this critical query to Jesus when he asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” (Matthew 18:21 NLT). Essentially, Peter desired to know when his responsibility to forgive ended.
When we neglect or refuse to forgive the sins of others, we turn out to be like a group agency. The debt of their sin weighs us down with an obligation to make them pay. At first, we may relish the prospect of extracting restitution from the one who wronged us.
Over time, though, the duty of debt collection grows burdensome. When the offender doesn’t meet our expectations, our hearts harden toward them. If we proceed the connection, resentment may seep in. A sense of superiority—pride—follows close on the heels of resentment. Over time, bitterness develops and offers Satan a foothold in our lives. The weight of the debt prevents us from obeying God’s mandate to like this offending neighbor as ourselves.
Jesus answered Peter’s query about how often to forgive: “’No, not seven times,’ Jesus replied, ‘but seventy times seven!’” (Matthew 18:22 NLT). I can imagine Peter’s heart should have plummeted when he heard these words. Impossible!
Seventy times seven is a figure of speech meaning no limits. Jesus intends for us to forgive the coworker who gossips behind our back every single day. The neighbor who bothers us with loud parties. The jealous sibling who at all times stirs up trouble. The spouse who broke vows. And even the one who victimized a loved one. This elevated standard of forgiveness can be unimaginable without the assistance of God’s Spirit.
Forgiveness means giving up our claim against the one who sinned against us. Depending on the character of the offense, a pardon might also include the restoration of a broken relationship. When restoration is affordable and protected, trust have to be earned.
While reunification is probably not possible or prudent in every instance, God at all times wants us to forgive.
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6 Steps within the Process of Forgiveness
Empowered by the Holy Spirit inside us, we will release control of debt collection to God and forgive every offense.
1. Meditate on the suffering and death Jesus endured to forgive all sins.
Picture yourself on the foot of the cross of Jesus. Remember, the blood He shed covers every one’s transgressions, including those that hurt you. Ultimately, offenses are, at first, against God. But we frequently get caught within the crossfire of sin. Let’s not shortchange the worth of Jesus’ extreme sacrifice with a refusal to use His shed blood to each sin we’ve suffered by the hands of others.
Here’s a link you can use on this topic: https://annieyorty.com/gods-person/the-crossfire-of-sin/
2. With God, lament the offense you’ve suffered.
In this essential step, pour out your heart to God concerning the full scope of the sin against you. If the offense is minor, this process could also be quick and simple. But life-changing hurts can take more time as you talk over with God concerning the tendrils of pain which have crept into every area of your life. This is just not the time to reduce or excuse. Be honest with Him concerning the effects of the opposite person’s actions in your life. If you think that of the offense as a plant, you should apply the facility of Jesus’ sacrifice not only to the leaves and fruit, but additionally all the way in which right down to the deepest root.
3. In prayer, turn the responsibility of debt collection for sins against you over to Jesus.
As the One who paid the penalty, He may select if and when to exact payment from the offender. Thank Jesus for relieving you of the burden of this responsibility.
4. Release the one who sinned against you from their debt.
In your personal words and in the presence of Jesus, follow this pattern:
[Name of person], I decide to forgive and release you for [name the offense]. I’ll now not expect you to repay me in any way. This offense is now between you and God. I trust Him to cope with you in response to His wisdom, justice, and mercy.
5. Speaking again to God, express your desire for God’s best for the one who has hurt you.
Jesus said, “Bless those that curse you. Pray for many who hurt you” (Luke 6:28 NLT). If you struggle to bless the offender, ask God to present you faith to trust and obey Him. He gives power to see the one who sinned against you thru His eyes of affection and compassion.
6. Conclude in prayer with gratitude for the mercy God has shown to you.
Dear Father God, I’m grateful for Your tender mercy toward me. Through Jesus, I actually have forgiveness for my own sins. You also carry the burden of offenses committed against me so my life won’t be controlled by bitterness and malice. You give me comfort and peace once I come to You. I trust You to bring justice to my situation in Your perfect timing, so I’ll turn over the offender’s debt to Your capable hands. I pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Live Unburdened
God’s forgiveness of our sins is at all times complete and lasting. But our forgiveness of others may sometimes must be renewed. If old feelings resurface, we may once again feel the burden of unforgiveness. At these times, we will run to God and regain inner peace by going through the steps of forgiveness again.
Whether the offender is sorry or not, this means of forgiveness allows us to exchange the burden of exacting justice for the peace of God. We can trust Him to handle every offense against us.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/evgenyatamanenko
