Shanoah Bruner is among the many quarter of American adults who find themselves within the “sandwich generation,” raising children under 18 and supporting aging parents.
At her home within the Indianapolis suburbs, the 40-something mom lives along with her husband, tween and teenage daughters, mother-in-law, and biological father.
The caretaking role comes naturally to Bruner. She was raised in a family that recurrently opened their home to others and served their church and community. Plus, she worked in assisted living, memory care, and expert nursing for over 20 years.
“I grew up in a really Christian home where, you realize, people meant greater than possessions,” she said. “So that’s just how I have a look at it, and it’s definitely rewarding for me, though that’s not the case for everyone.”
As baby boomers descend into their twilight years, their kids are taking them in or helping manage care from afar. Sixty-six percent of caregivers are women like Bruner, most of them of their mid-to-late 40s, who also work outside the house.
The demanding needs of caregivers and their family members offer believers a probability to offer support and gospel hope. Churches, nonprofits, and government and parachurch organizations have resources, and individual Christians can provide personal, tangible love in motion.
In 2022, the primary Bible study specifically for dementia caregivers was published. Some churches are implementing caregiver workshops. The Caregiving Support Network hosts a program to “sponsor a caregiver,” and there’s even a dedicated “Caregiver’s Prayer.”
Richard Gentzler Jr., an authority in ministry for aging adults, paraphrased former First Lady Rosalynn Carter when he wrote that there are only 4 kinds of individuals on the earth: those that have been caregivers, are currently caregivers, can be caregivers, or will need caregivers. In other words, no Christian is exempt from participating in take care of the caregiver.
“I do think there’s lots of opportunity for the church to minister to the emotional needs of this community, which could just be someone to consult with,” said Bruner. “Someone to simply listen, because there’s lots of emotions whenever you’re caring for a parent.”
Most caregivers are adult children, but sometimes, an aging spouse or a distant relative is thrust into the position. Stress and overwhelm characterize the lifetime of a caregiver as they ceaselessly juggle work, parenting, and the job of taxi driver for multiple weekly doctor’s appointments. They’re also babysitters for in-home care or around-the-clock check-ins at senior facilities.
“The statistics show that caregivers have a better rate of mental illness and depression than even the family members they’re caring for,” said Lauren Guynn, executive director of the Shepherd’s Center, a nonprofit organization for independent seniors in Hamilton County, Indiana. “They have a better rate of physical health problems … they usually’re dying sooner.”
Multiple aspects end in worsening caregiver health, including lower income, sole provision, co-residence, intensity of health problems, and race. African American and Latino caregivers usually tend to report declining health. Those caring for folks with Alzheimer’s disease report the very best stress levels.
Sole caregivers without assistance fare the worst, and the upper the extent of need, Guynn said, the more “caregiver burnout, stress, and health issues.”
Studies show that religious values do contribute to the demographics of caregivers. Guynn’s Christian faith definitely guides her work on the Shepherd’s Center, where she directs programs aiding caregivers and seniors, offering counseling, transportation, visitation, yard work, social activities, and guardianship services.
“It’s taking motion,” she said. “If all of us made an effort to assist the people we see caregiving, I’m guessing it will not only impact their lives but, from a kingdom perspective, the impact would even be huge.”
This work is significant, especially because, as Guynn said, many seniors struggle most as a consequence of poor caregiver support. The cost of care is a primary issue.
Getting old is pricey, with full-time memory care facilities charging a mean of $7,000 a month. Medicaid doesn’t cover room and board, though it might help with other crucial support services like grooming, bathing, and medicine management.
Because of the expenses, many families haven’t any alternative but to turn into full-time caregivers of their homes, while others offer care to relatives who survive their very own or in institutional care.
Bruner didn’t grow up along with her dad, as a substitute living along with her aunt, who ran a food pantry, and uncle, who served as a chaplain on the local jail. It’s their legacy of Christian service and sacrifice that inspired her to take care of her biological father as he ages.
Bruner’s father requires regular appointments with an Alzheimer’s specialist, a neurologist, a urologist, a podiatrist, and a brain and spine doctor. Maintaining his care and appointments is a full-time job that Bruner and her husband prayerfully weighed before agreeing to it. She feels lucky to have the means to rent outside help, because many others cannot.
During her work in skilled senior care, Bruner said she witnessed adult children who were bitter about caregiving responsibilities for neglectful parents. Because of this mentality and the heavy burden of caregiving, elder abuse is sort of high.
For Bruner, caring for the daddy who didn’t raise her is “kind of like a restoration.” Though she views her role as a ministry, she said it will be nice to have more supportive programs for caregivers from the church.
Even without dedicated senior support programs, Guynn believes local churches are “uniquely qualified” to supply support for caregivers.
“They just have to feel like they don’t seem to be alone,” said Guynn. “And I feel just like the church has a chance to succeed in individuals who I feel the devil is isolating.”
Guynn finds that caregivers resist support from organizations but have a level of built-in trust with churches. She said that smaller churches are doing a little of one of the best work on this area.
“These churches can have only 100 people, but each person there knows one another,” she said. “When someone has surgery, they bring about meals, they usually know if someone needs help going to the doctor. … It’s a way of community that comes with a small church that naturally lends more support to caregivers.”
This sort of ministry still often falls to parachurch organizations, which may raise money to offset costs and implement specific programs to assist.
The Caregiving Support Network, launched in 2022, offers financial assistance to unpaid caregivers through an application process. Rebecca Dowhy founded the organization after years of caring for her mother, who suffered from multiple sclerosis.
“My physical, mental, and spiritual health suffered tremendously in seasons of burnout and depression,” she wrote. “The relentless nature of disability forced us to repeatedly pour from an empty cup with no solution to recharge our energy.”
Churches may hold fellowship nights or events specifically for caregivers to assemble. In Dothan, Alabama, the Respite Care Ministry team at First United Methodist Church launched Rosemary House, a spot for refreshment for memory loss caregivers.
“Sometimes, caregivers just need someone to hearken to them,” said ministry director Katie Holland. “We just wish to have a haven for them where they will come get support, education, and training.”
The American Heart Association is one in every of many organizations that pushes caregivers to contemplate their well-being at the same time as they support their family members. In one resource, they remind caregivers of their right to take care of their health, accept help, utilize community resources, express emotions, and are likely to other parts of their life.
The Family Caregiver Alliance helps caregivers find outside support, including things like care management, transportation assistance, support groups, legal and financial counseling, respite care, adult daycare options, and more.
Gospel Hope for Caregivers, a ministry created by Marissa Bondurant, encourages people to see caregiving primarily as a ministry. After caring for her (now healthy) young daughter with cancer, Bondurant identified a spot in support for Christian caregivers.
“As I began writing about our experience—about a number of the things that were difficult, and the ways in which God provided for us—our story began resonating with each ends of that caregiving spectrum,” said Bondurant, who went from posting on CaringBridge to a public site.
“Plenty of it needed to do with the theology of suffering. I feel people needed to listen to something that was really going to handle the questions they’d of their heart and wasn’t going to simply be this Band-Aid the church sometimes puts on with slightly happy-face sticker.”
Bruner identified that churches have already got people dedicated to praying for and supporting those with other issues, like poverty, single parenthood, addiction, and divorce. She said showing up for caregivers in the identical way would “be like a lightweight” within the darkness.
Those aware of the caregiving space say proactive, tangible support brought on to the house is the optimal way for others to assist, because many caregivers won’t ever ask for or accept help. They say to simply show up, bring food, do their yard work, bring Bible study to them, or offer to take a seat with their parents in order that they can run errands.
“In those really dark and difficult situations, having someone to supply spiritual guidance may help them see grace and find healing,” said Guynn. “This goes to assist them begin to see that God can turn these situations into good and work out how they will really allow him to work of their lives.”
