Getting engaged is a pivotal moment in a pair’s lives and comes with much excitement and anticipation. However, this glorious moment might be shattered when one says, “’ I’ll say, ‘I do,’ ‘til prenup do us part?” It doesn’t really have a pleasant ring to it. So, what’s a prenup, and the way should we go about this highly controversial topic as believers?
The history of the prenuptial agreement (prenup) dates back to ancient Egyptian times and was often used as a method to take care of a widowed woman. According to Brodie Friedman, marital and family law attorneys, these contracts were written up to guard the wealth and property that got here from each the bride and groom’s family. Due to prearranged marriages then, a bride was given away with a dowry, and a groom was to pay her family to marry her. This nuptial agreement was designed to be certain that she would have rights to wealth and property if her husband passed away.
Fast-forward to today. These nuptial agreements have since faced some skepticism but have develop into fairly commonplace because the laws on divorce began to alter within the early Nineteen Fifties (Wikipedia). Now, we see a unique evolution of what marital agreements entail, as a prenup states how money, possessions, and assets are to be divided within the unlikely event that a pair part ways and proceeds with a divorce.
This “agreement” not only comes with a fairly bad connotation nowadays but can fire up distrust and mixed feelings, especially amongst Christian couples. Rightfully so, as believers, we hold to the notion that a wedding is supposed to be a life-long enterprise, sacred and holy under God (Mark 10:8-12). That said, putting a prenup in place would cheapen probably the most favored human relationships, deeming it more like a contract than a covenant (Matthew 5:32).
However, it might be value questioning whether there’s ever a rare or certain case through which a prenup is perhaps warranted. According to Focus on the Family, “blended families and already-started business ventures can create unique financial situations that must be addressed with explicit care. A prenuptial agreement may very well be a smart method to avoid future financial and legal headaches, particularly where clan is involved.” There was also mention of going into a wedding with significant financial debt or extreme assets where a prenup could also be value considering.
We must recognize that we live in a fallen world riddled by tragedy, and unfortunately, divorce is part of that. However, when a pair goes into a wedding with a mindset of the opportunity of it “not figuring out,” the motives are already way off base. The truth of the matter is that God’s design for a wedding is to bring two of His beloved children together and make them one flesh (Genesis 2:24). This sacred union is to be valued as a commitment to life (Ecclesiastes 9:9).
Husbands are called to like and lead their wives, giving themselves up for her, while wives are to honor and respect their husband’s role and undergo him being the weaker vessel (1 Peter 3:7-9). Each brings an exquisite role into a wedding, holding equal value but different and unique qualities which might be required to make a wedding based on faithfulness and devotion while being wealthy in love (Ephesians 5:22-31).
Christian couples should enter a wedding by looking for to honor and glorify God’s design for marriage and enter their union equally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14-18). When each spouse says “I do” to honor and undergo God initially, then submit to 1 one other in marriage as Christ did the church (Ephesians 5:21), that’s the only agreement needed.
Father, we thank You for the dear gift You give us in marriage. Please help us see our fiancés and future spouses as You do – as a beloved child and priceless treasure. Help us honor Your perfect design for marriage and live in a purposeful way that glorifies You together. Amen.
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