DURING Erin Sadler’s nine years of life, glitter, sparkle, and diamanté could possibly be present in abundance. Her mother, Helen, would decorate her electric wheelchair in numerous colors, depending on the season, and, at Christmas, the 2 would make sparkly baubles to sell for charity.
When Erin died, aged nine, in December 2022, after a lifetime of complex health issues and traumatic events, including a heart attack, encephalopathy, and a mass haemorrhage, Ms Sadler knew that she wanted this aspect of their life together to form a part of the celebration of her life. During a gathering to plan the service, her eye was drawn to the clerical collar worn by the Priest-in-Charge of St Luke’s, Colchester, the Revd Hannah Cooper. Could it’s given the diamanté treatment?
“It took me by surprise,” Mrs Cooper recalled this week. “But I knew that sparkle and color was really necessary to Erin and to her mum; so we decided to go for it.” Wearing a “beautiful, pink sparkly collar” in front of a congregation of greater than 300, she was convinced that, “that is the suitable thing for Erin.”
Her participation meant an awesome deal to Ms Sadler. “I used to be so moved by it, since it felt like she had involved herself deeply,” she said last week.
Afterwards, Mrs Cooper felt unsure about wearing the collar again, given its personal connection to Erin, but, shortly afterwards, Ms Sadler arrived on her doorstep with a box of 5 different sparkly collars. After searching for the recommendation of the Bishop of Colchester, the Rt Revd Roger Morris, Mrs Cooper has since worn a glittery collar as standard, unless the occasion is inappropriate. It has been “a blessing for ministry”, she reports.
“It is such a talking point, with people wanting to find out about it and commenting on it,” she said, recalling a recent conversation on the Tesco Click and Collect point. “I assumed, ‘I never would have had that conversation were I not wearing the collar.’”
HELEN SADLERThe collar selection
The collars have attracted increasing notice, and, last September, Ms Sadler made them available for purchase on the Facebook page she used to document Erin’s life (“Erin the Warrior and her zest for all times”). She has sent them all around the country, and recently took an order for 300 from the United States. Making them has given her “a purpose, once I really didn’t know what to do with myself”, she said.
Once the price of buying the materials is roofed — the collars are purchased from Watts & Co. — all proceeds are sent to the Rainbow Trust Children’s Charity, which supported Erin from the age of 15 months, and was a source of “wonderful support”, Ms Sadler said. To date, she has sold 977 collars, raising a complete of £3922 for the charity, which supports children with terminal and life-limiting conditions.
Ms Sadler is aware that the collars have been worn at multiple occasions, including weddings, funerals, school visits, and carol services, by clergy, including padres and chaplains. She made one on special request for a baby-loss-awareness service, and one other for a priest visiting an adolescent mental-health unit.
Last week, she said that it was necessary to convey that the collars were “never meant as a gimmick or a novelty. . . I’m incredibly mindful that this is just not for everyone . . . nevertheless it does come from a spot of affection and respect.” She was aware of 1 man who “wasn’t sure” concerning the collar until he learned concerning the story behind it.
HANNAH COOPERThe Revd Hannah Cooper (left) with one in all her assistant curates, the Revd Charlotte Day
Among her customers is Bishop Morris, and clergy have consistently echoed Mrs Cooper’s report concerning the conversations that the collars have engendered. “Erin loved people, she just embraced people, and I feel like in a way that’s her legacy,” she said. “Knowing that any individual could see any individual, anywhere within the country, and it would make them smile, is sufficient to spur me on to maintain doing it.”
Mrs Cooper, who needed to learn find out how to function a barista after arriving within the parish, first met Helen and Erin as regular customers on the Oak Tree Coffee Shop, run by St Luke’s. She recalls having many conversations with Ms Sadler while Erin was within the Reception class at Highwoods Community Primary School.
Asked last week if she had advice for clergy supporting other bereaved parents, Ms Sadler said: “Don’t try to lead, don’t try to guide; stand with us, feeling what we want to feel, talking about our youngsters. . . We are all so different, however the one common denominator is we just need to discuss our youngsters.”
Her daughter was “extraordinary”, she said. She sends each collar out with a note describing her: “The most glorious, witty, wild, enchanting, tenacious, grab-life-and-live-it person you’ll ever wish to satisfy, defining the chances time and time again, to rise like a phoenix.”
Erin was “loved wherever she went — she was such a personality,” Mrs Cooper said this week. “She was fun, she was tenacious, she had a awful lot of spark and character, and the things she managed in her nine years of life I’m undecided I may have managed by the top of my life.”
Ms Sadler’s goal is to hit the 1000-collars mark. “It is so precious to me that Erin’s name is alleged, that her sparkle continues, and, with each enquiry that gets sent, I can log out as Erin’s mum,” she said. “I desperately need that.”
erinssparklycollars@yahoo.com
