The topic of submission within the Christian family could be a touchy subject.
One reason that’s the case is since it is commonly not talked about or taught accurately, though it’s taught in Scripture. Some Bible teachers downplay the importance of submission or skip it altogether.
Another reason submission could be a touchy subject is how common it’s for many individuals (or possibly all of us) to abuse authority. I actually have heard so many sad stories of youngsters, spouses, church members, and employees (really anyone who has a frontrunner over them) who’ve been the recipient of some sort of abuse of authority, emotional bullying, manipulation, power-tripping, and even physical abuse by their leaders. Because of that, so many individuals turn around and dish out the identical abuse of authority to people they’re in leadership over (because hurt people hurt people).
In my experience, everyone (me and also you included) can be tempted to abuse our authority given the chance with no accountability or consequence. I actually have even heard this phrase repeatedly in my life and consider it to be true:
Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
So, does that mean we throw out leadership and put everyone on the identical plane? As nice as that may sound at times, all it takes is a bit of little bit of common sense, knowledge of human history, or understanding of human nature to know that it’ll not work. We need leaders – but good leaders. And to have leaders, you should even have others that follow and submit. There isn’t any way around it.
This takes us back to considering what Scripture says about submission.
One of probably the most common and controversial passages about submission within the Bible is Ephesians 5. In this passage, Paul explains that godly husbands in the house are to:
“love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, in order that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she may be holy and without blemish. In the identical way, husbands should love their wives as their bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For nobody ever hated his flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we’re members of his body.” (Ephesians 5:25-28, ESV)
How does the Bible say for husbands to treat their wives? With love. But not only the sensation of affection, but self-sacrificing, selfless love. The sort of love that Jesus expressed when he died on the cross! The sort of love that cares for her provides for her and leads her well toward good health.
Then Paul switches focus to the wives in a Christian home and teaches this:
“Wives, undergo your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the pinnacle of the wife at the same time as Christ is the pinnacle of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now, because the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in every little thing to their husbands.” – Ephesians 5:22-24, ESV
God instructs wives here to acknowledge them because the “head” of their relationship and, subsequently, undergo their leadership. But why does Paul say that wives should submit? Because they represent the “Church” and their husbands represent “Christ” in the connection.
Again – for some people, this can be a difficult concept to simply accept due to its negative connotations with leadership and submission. But if you could have ever seen a wedding that lives this out well, you may know that it’s a thing of beauty that others need to emulate.
Considering this passage, there is no such thing as a room for tyranny, abuse, rebel, or selfishness in a godly marriage.
But let’s be honest – we mess this passage up rather a lot in our marriages, don’t we? I actually have seen more marriages flipped backward than they operate on this biblical way.
So why is that this model of leadership and submission within the Christian home so unusual and difficult to obey? One reason is that we try to begin within the incorrect place. The passage we read doesn’t begin with those imperatives, so we must always not start reading from there either. Those commands merely apply principles that Paul teaches about within the previous verses.
For example, Paul begins his whole train of thought with this robust statement:
“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.“ – Ephesians 5:1, ESV
How can we know what acts of God we must imitate? We look to Jesus! He is our example. We were created in God’s image, and when God saves us, he recreates us back into that image. We follow Jesus’s example not as robots or clones and even slaves or employees but as little children following in our Father’s footsteps.
What, then, does it mean to mimic God? It means to work as he works, care concerning the things he cares about, love as he loves, and so forth. In context, Paul goes on to inform us to live lives of affection for God and others, to live holy and pure, to speak cleanly and with gratitude, to walk as “children of the sunshine” and expose the darkness, to live correctly and never waste time, to be crammed with the Holy Spirit, to sing to God with other believers, and to provide thanks for every little thing.
Then, in any case that, Paul gives yet one more example of how we’re to mimic God in verse 21: by “submitting to 1 one other.”
How does submitting to 1 one other imitate God? Well, again, we are able to look to Jesus, who declared:
“I can do nothing by myself. As I hear, I judge, and my judgment is simply because I seek not my very own will but the desire of him who sent me.” – John 5:30, ESV
So though Jesus and God were “one” (as Jesus taught multiple times), he worked in submission to his Father. This is obvious in lots of things that Jesus did, especially in his willingness to die on the cross and accept his “cup” of suffering in obedience to his Father’s will (see Jesus’s prayer to his Father in Matthew 26).
This takes us back to the thought of submission within the Christian family. In submission to Christ, though they’re “one flesh” (as Paul explains later within the chapter), the wife is to undergo her loving husband – who in turn is to undergo God.
But this can only occur if we first live in a healthy, close relationship with God, looking for to mimic him and in love and submission to 1 one other “out of reverence for Christ.” This known as “mutual submission.”
Although this passage is counter-cultural and goes against our rebellious and prideful fallen nature, it’s the truthful and the fitting approach to have a Christian home. Loving leadership and respectful submission are the one healthy ways to operate in any relationship. You can follow, respect, or defer, but we still discuss the identical idea.
And you should utilize another sort of leader-follower relationship to clarify this principle. For example, children are to undergo their parents, employees are to undergo their management, students are to undergo their teachers, residents are to undergo their governmental leaders, and players are to undergo their coaches.
But while all of those scenarios depend on healthy leadership and submission, Paul uses the wedding model for a very important reason. He explains that reason at the tip of the passage:
“This mystery is profound, and I’m saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” – Ephesians 5:32
God gave the gift of marriage to us to indicate us what his relationship with us is presupposed to appear to be. It is an image or a logo. Changing the structure and organization messes up the image.
So husbands and wives – let’s ask ourselves this query: what sort of picture of the Gospel does your marriage and life paint?
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/Goran13
