‘For this reason, a person will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the 2 will grow to be one flesh.’So they aren’t any longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let nobody separate.” – Mark 10:7-9
It looks like the Pharisees and “teachers of the law” were perpetually attempting to trap Jesus into saying something that will incriminate him in a roundabout way—testing him and testing his answers. They were legalists to the intense – requiring obedience to essentially the most minute letter of the law, even that law that got here from men and never from God. Of course, Jesus reserved his most stringent rebuke for these religious dogmatists and used these opportunities to show a few of his most significant lessons.
On one among these occasions, the Pharisees asked Jesus if it was lawful for a person to divorce his wife – claiming that Moses permitted a person to write down a certificate of divorce and send his wife away. Jesus then replied that Moses allowed this simply due to hard hearts of human beings, almost as an accommodation to our sinful nature. (Mark 10:2-5) Then he added a lesson everyone knows well if now we have studied the Bible.
“But originally of creation, God ‘made them female and male.’ ‘For this reason, a person will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the 2 will grow to be one flesh.’So they aren’t any longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let nobody separate.” – Mark 10:6-9
We presume that Adam and Eve were married. They had children and generations of grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Genesis 2 tells it this fashion:
But for Adam, no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the person to fall right into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, he took one among the person’s ribs after which closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a lady from the rib he had taken out of the person, and he brought her to the person. The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”
That is why a person leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and so they grow to be one flesh. (v. 20b – 24)
“What God has joined together” is unquestioned on this passage. And Adam made it pretty obvious that his heart was given to Eve. What shouldn’t be so obvious is where they were formally married in the midst of events.
The lesson on divorce is crystal clear, as is the lesson on marriage between a person and a lady. However, what’s unclear in all of Scripture is what precisely defines marriage. How are we to know what God has joined together? At what point does God consider a person and woman to be married? The Bible’s silence on the topic makes the query a bit difficult.
There are many viewpoints on the matter – each presenting its challenges.
Differing Viewpoints
Perhaps essentially the most common thought on this, especially here within the US, is that God considers a person and woman married only once they have accomplished some type of formal wedding ceremony – once they have taken vows before a pastor. This, they consider, is being “married within the church” and equate that to being married before God. Of course, no such guidance or requirement is printed within the Bible.
Some would say that God creating woman and giving her to Adam is representative of a father making a gift of his daughter. Of course, John describes when Jesus and his disciples attended a marriage in Cana in chapter 2 of his gospel. Jesus wouldn’t have attended the ceremony had he not approved of the event. But does this indicate that a marriage ceremony is required and in God’s sight? While there may be an excellent deal of merit to this viewpoint, many questions are also raised.
If such a ceremony is required – what would the necessities of the ritual be exactly? Must it’s in a physical church constructing or before a pastor? What church could be acceptable? Or…unacceptable? One that’s apostate or possibly doesn’t agree with certain theology? Jehovah’s Witness or LDS? Suppose the pastor is gay? Or would this require adding more rules to the foundations – or exceptions to the foundations?
Another common viewpoint is that God considers a person and woman married when legally married by whatever governing authority they live under. This is supported, it is assumed, by Romans 13:1-7 and 1 Peter 2:17.
“Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there isn’t a authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.” – Romans 13:1
In other words, if the federal government requires formal paperwork to be licensed to marry, the couple should adhere to those requirements and follow through with whatever the federal government entity requires.
The challenge to this standpoint is that marriage was recognized long before there have been governments and requirements for a legal license to marry. Further, many governments haven’t any such requirement. This would also, by definition, endorse and legitimize government statutes on marriage.
Some would say that the primary time a pair has sexual activity is the time God recognizes them as married – and point to the “one flesh” concept outlined in multiple verses in Scripture (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:8; Ephesians 5:31). They also point to the story of Isaac and Rebekah in Genesis 24 – where the family considered them to be married after consummating their marriage sexually. In such stories, nevertheless, there may be way more to prearranged marriages than sex – including verbal contracts, cultural procedures, and a dowry.
Further, this argument doesn’t take note of the Old Testament – which makes a transparent distinction between wives and a large number of concubines, for instance – or consider adulterous relationships, which definitely wouldn’t be considered marriage.
Many of us here within the US appear to wish to apply our rules to things that we assume everyone should adhere to. Of course, we regularly write “exceptions” to those rules for individuals who cannot abide them. In other words, we offer our own accommodation. We roughly apply our legalism to what shouldn’t be to be present in the Bible.
So What is Marriage?
Perhaps first, we must always consider what God expects of a husband and wife. Certainly, the Bible does have lots to say about that. Throughout the New Testament, we read lessons on the connection between a husband and wife. None perhaps accomplish that more poignant than as Paul writes to the Ephesians:
“Submit to at least one one other out of reverence for Christ.” – Ephesians 5:21
Paul taught that wives should submit themselves to their husbands as to the Lord. (v. 22) And instructs husbands to like their wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her. (v. 25) He compared the connection between husband and wife to that between Christ and the church. Paul laid great significance on marriage and the husband/wife relationship.
The writer of the Book of Hebrews put it this fashion:
“Marriage needs to be honored by all, and the wedding bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all of the sexually immoral.” –Hebrews 13:4
It’s an announcement price repeating. “Marriage needs to be honored by all.”
There are an excellent many other verses that clarify the Biblical view on the importance of marriage and the way a person and wife are to treat one another: Ephesians 5:22-27; Genesis 2:18; Colossians 3:18; 1Peter 3:7; 1 Corinthians 7:2-5) Isaiah says that “because the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.” (v 62:5)
And yet, the lesson in Genesis 2 starts us – and leaves us – with a lesson for all. “The Lord God said, it shouldn’t be good for man to be alone. I’ll make an acceptable helper for him.” (v. 2:18)
Adam, recognizing the importance of Eve – of his wife:
“This is now the bone of my bones and the flesh of my flesh.” – Genesis 2:23
The Bible clearly and unquestionably intended marriage to be a commitment between a person and woman to live for one another. To respect and sacrifice – for one another. To submit to at least one one other as we undergo our Lord.
Cultural, circumstantial, situational, or legal requirements needs to be recognized and adhered to. These are a public acknowledgment of a non-public commitment – a commitment to like one another as we love ourselves. The type of love that’s beyond emotion but is in our attitudes and actions. It is a commitment to stay by one another through thick and thin. Through good times and bad. Through all things. A long-lasting bond between husband and wife surpasses even that of the bond to our parents. When a person shall leave his father and mother, the 2 shall grow to be one flesh.
These are the vows – the responsibility, the commitment, the pledge, the responsibility, and the duty – of marriage, and usually are not to be taken evenly.
This – that is what constitutes marriage within the eyes of God.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Sam Edwards
