After speaking with Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, President of Love and Respect Ministries and writer of Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs, on Thinking Christian, I made a decision to take a more in-depth take a look at considered one of the texts Dr. Eggerichs references in his book (i.e., Ephesians 5:22-33). Having undergone Love and Respect with my wife earlier in our marriage, I used to be conversant in the book’s concepts, but had not taken the time to essentially dig into the biblical text to know what Paul was attempting to do within the book of Ephesians. Before jumping into Ephesians 5, it seems good to put out a broad framework to orient us as we approach Paul’s instructions to husbands and wives.
A Framework
In some ways, the challenges Christians faced within the Greco-Roman world are just like our own. These challenges could also be broadly understood as involving the next basic assertions:
- Christ changes all the things– Christians found that the cultural norms of broader society were not adequate to guide and structure one’s recent life in Christ.
- Being too odd could create unnecessary problems- While the early Church and, specifically, the disciples weren’t shy about proclaiming Christ, they were also careful to not be so revolutionary that they’d be viewed as a threat or disturbances to society (Acts 16:3; Col 3:18-25) or to act in ways that might cause the gospel to be reviled (1 Cor 9:19-23; 1 Tim 6:1; Titus 2:5).
- Not being odd enough would blunt the message of the gospel and misrepresent God- Christians also needed to take care to not be so just like the culture around them that there was not a discernable difference between Christians and the culture. Even if Christians did lots of the same things as others, they were to do them otherwise (Matt 6:1-18; Rom 12:2)
This form of challenge was not limited to 1 aspect of a Christian’s life. Instead, it was all-encompassing. As such, Paul and the opposite New Testament authors provide wide-ranging instructions about how believers occupying quite a lot of social roles should conduct themselves (1 Cor 7:25-40; Eph 6:9; 1 Pet 2:18). In Ephesians 5, Paul offers guidance concerning Christian behavior in three major social realms: (1) the connection between husbands and wives, (2) the connection between children and fogeys, and (3) the connection between slaves and masters.
Christ Changes Everything
Before considering Ephesians 5 specifically, it is necessary to spotlight a few of what Christ changes for Christians. For instance, in Revelation, Christ is usually pictured because the Lamb. This lamb was slain (Rev 5:12; 13:8) and yet is value “to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing (Rev 5:12). Those who oppose the Lamb will experience his wrath (6:16) and ultimately be conquered by the Lamb (17:14). The image of a conquering lamb presents an interesting juxtaposition: the sacrificial lamb becomes the conqueror and king.
Christ’s victory is just not primarily over earthly powers. In a really real sense, Jesus doesn’t “wrestle against flesh and blood” (Eph 6:12). As such, his battle plan takes on a really different character than lots of those searching for the approaching messiah expect. Jesus demonstrates the form of characteristics and tactics required to confront “the rulers…the authorities…the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil within the heavenly places” (6:12).
In Philippians 2, Paul urges Christians to develop the mind of Christ (2:5) by offering a glimpse into Christ’s decision prior to His incarnation. Though Christ “was in the shape of God,” he “didn’t count equality with God a thing to be grasped” (2:6). To put it otherwise, Christ didn’t consider his position as God was to be held for his own advantage. Instead, he set it aside (“emptied himself”) to serve others by faithfully obeying the Father and, ultimately, being crucified (2:7-8). His self-giving act resulted in his exaltation above all things (2:Sept. 11).
Christ is greater than a paradigm for Christian living; he’s not less than a paradigm for Christian living. Christ looked beyond the temporal and visual to fight an unseen battle. While that battle often involved acts within the “seen” world, akin to healing, caring for the poor, teaching, and, ultimately, a physical death on the cross, these physical actions were a part of a spiritual battle Jesus was destined to win. We now approach life in the identical manner because we imitate Christ. Christ changes the best way we orient ourselves to the world by renewing our senses and revealing to us the spiritual struggle by which we’re involved. As such, our physical activities on this world, like those of Jesus, are extensions of our spiritual battle.
Being Strange within the Right Way: Authority Redefined in Ephesians 5
While some today take a look at Paul’s instructions to husbands and wives as outdated and patriarchal, Paul’s instructions to husbands and wives are a reorientation of Greco-Roman roles throughout the conjugal relationship based on the instance of Jesus Christ. He does the identical for youngsters and fogeys (6:1-4) and bondservants and masters (6:5-9). The basic point is that those in authority must exercise that authority in a way just like Christ. Their authority is just not something they use to their very own advantage or for their very own gain. Instead, they exercise it for others. The “head” uses his authority self-sacrificially.
As such, once we consider Paul’s instruction concerning wives and husbands, we’d like to know it in light of the shift Paul is looking for to make. We can’t read his instruction to wives, children, or bondservants other than his instruction to husbands, fathers, and masters. For instance, Paul is just not giving their husband a license to be domineering. Such domination was often related to the search for honor within the Greco-Roman world. As Michelle Lee-Barnewall notes, “Since honor for men was gained through domination of others, the husband would have been expected to dominate and be served by his wife. However, Paul states that he should as a substitute do the other and exercise his headship through service and sacrifice.”
While conceptions of masculinity weren’t uniform in the traditional world, there’s evidence to suggest that a person’s status in society was often correlated along with his control over others. In this instance, Paul is looking for a special conception of masculinity inside marriage, which necessitates the instruction given to wives. If the husband was to exercise his authority through service toward the family’s common good quite than asserting his authority in a coercive manner, the wife needed to acknowledge this recent type of authority in a more voluntary fashion. The husband, when exercising his authority appropriately, wouldn’t force submission. As such, the wife would need to submit freely (perhaps in a way just like Christ’s submission to Mary and Joseph in Luke 2:51).
Paul recognizes that the conjugal relationship is just not one-sided. When the best way the husband exercises authority changes, so must the best way the wife submits. Paul doesn’t see marriage as a dictatorial relationship where regardless of the husband says goes. Though he retains a hierarchy throughout the relationship, his redefinition of the connection gestures toward the form of mutual submission referenced in Ephesians 5:21. For the Christian marriage to work, each husband and wife must reorient to recent life in Christ.
Conclusion and Implications
Love and respect are necessary inside Christian marriages. The interpersonal relationship between husband and wife, as Dr. Eggerichs suggests in Love and Respect, will almost actually be helped as husbands and wives learn to like and respect each other. Beyond the conjugal relationship, love and respect have a broader, gospel-centered purpose. As husbands and wives follow the instructions Paul gives in Ephesians 5, they supply an image of Christ and the Church.
Abusive, abrasive, and domineering husbands don’t reflect the form of love Christ demonstrated when he sacrificed himself for the Church. A wife who demeans and undermines her husband, particularly when he’s exercising his authority in the best way Paul describes, doesn’t reflect the Church’s commitment to honor Christ as Lord and Savior.
More broadly, we see something similar play out in the connection between children and fogeys (particularly fathers) and bondservants and masters. The “mutual submission” of Ephesians 5:21 presses into various social hierarchies in order that those with authority don’t use that authority for their very own gain but for the great of the order. That “good” involves the imitation of Christ and his love (Eph 5:1) so that each one of our relationships reflect our commitment to constructing the dominion of God quite than pursuing our own interests.
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