After you choose to follow Christ, the person you select to marry is the second most vital decision you’ll ever make on this life. Ideally, as a believer, you desire to marry one other believer. Yet, this will not be your story. How do you handle this case should you are married to an unbeliever?
What Should Everyone Remember Before They Marry?
First, this discussion will not be meant as judgment but as a call to wisdom and encouragement. I understand that being married to an unbeliever may be difficult.
I also recognize that sometimes churches give more warnings about marriage than guidance all of us need to recollect about marriages. So, before we dive in, listed below are some essential things to recollect.
First, selecting a wedding partner affects every aspect of your life. So, take time. Be clever. Pray before making that selection. I do know you get those emotional lovey-dovey feelings when you find yourself together with your special someone. While those feelings are wonderful, they’ll come and go and can’t be the inspiration on your marriage.
Second, If you might be married to an unbelieving spouse, that doesn’t mechanically mean you may have a terrible marriage. Some “unequally yoked marriages” could also be healthier than marriages between two believers, depending on the believers’ struggles and the way much they’re each committed to growing closer to God.
With these points out of the way in which, let’s consider some questions and issues should you are married to an unbeliever or currently dating an unbeliever.
Does the Bible Say it’s Okay to Marry an Unbeliever?
I would like to talk first to single readers. Who you select to marry matters because marriage is joining two people into one. God intended for marriage to be two people becoming one from the moment he established marriage.
“That is why a person leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, they usually turn into one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)
If you’ll join your life with someone, it is sensible to hitch yourself with someone walking in the identical direction. Amos 3:3 asks, “How can two walk together unless they agree?”
If you might be set on following Christ and the person you might be dating will not be, this can cause friction in your relationship. You can comply with disagree on many things, but faith shouldn’t be one among them.
Another reality of marriage is that your spouse can have more influence than another person. Hence, God commanded the Israelites to not intermarry with the encircling nations. He knew their influence would turn the Israelites’ hearts away from him towards other gods. If you marry an unbeliever, you might face the identical problem.
In the New Testament, Paul gives this instruction.
“Do not be yoked along with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14)
It is significant to notice Paul was not specifically talking about marriage—he was talking more generally about making partnerships of any kind with nonbelievers.
Still, the principle can apply to marriage. If you might be a believer and decide to marry an unbeliever, you can create a hardship you possibly can avoid.
Last thought for many who are dating. While you must select someone who’s a believer, be sure that will not be the one point of compatibility. Just since you each consider in Jesus doesn’t mean you must spend the remaining of your lives together.
Are You Allowed to Divorce an Unbelieving Spouse?
What happens should you are already married to an unbelieving spouse? Should you divorce them?
The short answer isn’t any. Here is what Paul says about this very topic.
“To the remaining I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who will not be a believer and she or he is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a girl has a husband who will not be a believer and he’s willing to live together with her, she must not divorce him.” (1 Corinthians 7:12-13)
The instructions here couldn’t be clearer. If you might be married to an unbelieving spouse, they usually wish to stay married, then you definately stay together. It is significant to notice that everybody in this case didn’t decide to marry an unbeliever. Some got married after which got saved after they were married, which created this scenario. If that is you they usually wish to stay, then you definately stay.
Divorce is rarely God’s plan, but there could also be instances where divorce could also be a mandatory option. I say “may” because divorce shouldn’t be the primary option if the connection may be repaired and restored to a healthy state. However, there are some scenarios where divorce could also be the precise option. These scenarios apply whether you might be married to an unbelieving or believing spouse.
1. If there’s adultery and the wedding vows have been violated, you may have grounds for divorce.
2. If there’s physical or sexual abuse towards you or your kids or you might be in a situation where your spouse threatens you or your kids, that can also be grounds for divorce.
3. If your spouse abandons the wedding and needs nothing to do with fulfilling their marital vows, you may have grounds for divorce.
Again, if reconciliation can occur and the connection is returned to a healthy state, you must consider doing that. Regardless, I like to recommend you seek godly counsel should you are in one among these situations to assist work out the precise decision.
Should You Try to Convert an Unbelieving Spouse?
If you might be married to an unbeliever, is it your responsibility to attempt to convert them?
Yes and no. You must be open to sharing the gospel together with your spouse. Just recognize you possibly can’t convert an unbelieving spouse (or anyone else for that matter) by your personal will.
While it is vital to share Christ with them, please don’t make that the one thing you speak about. How you reside will speak volumes to your spouse, even greater than your words. You are the representation of Christ in your own home, so that they should see the character of Christ shining in you and thru you. This doesn’t mean it would convert them, but they’ll know your walk with the Lord is real. Your real love for Jesus they see lived out each day may fire up a desire to need to know more about Jesus.
How Can We Help Someone with an Unbelieving Spouse?
You may know someone who’s married to an unbeliever, so how are you going to come alongside and help them? Here are three things you possibly can do:
1. Pray for and with them.
If the spouse doesn’t know the Lord, then we all know the everlasting consequence of that. It can also be quite possible the believing spouse desires greater than anything that their spouse would come to know the Lord. For this reason, you must pray for them and with them. This generally is a significant source of encouragement for that person.
2. Include somewhat than isolate the unbelieving spouse.
If you might be friends with someone with an unbelieving spouse, make sure you include them in your activities. Don’t just invite them to the revival at church. If you might be friends, then do things together. While we wish them to get saved, that journey to salvation doesn’t at all times occur in a church pew. It could occur around a dinner table, at a ballgame, and even on vacation. Remember, in the event that they are married, they’re one, so don’t concentrate on one and forget the opposite.
3. Encourage the spouse to maintain constructing the conjugal relationship.
Keep encouraging them to construct their relationship with their spouse. Remember, they got married because they love one another, they usually made a lifetime commitment to that marriage. Don’t despise that. So often, church and “real ministry” turn into competition to marriage when it should complement the wedding. This may mean you don’t do as much in church, but that’s okay because your most vital ministry work happens in the house, not outside.
Last Thought about Living with a Nonbelieving Spouse
I pray you may have found some words of wisdom and encouragement in this text, and, as at all times, if you may have further questions, don’t hesitate to succeed in out to me. If you might be married to an unbelieving spouse, keep praying for and loving them. In doing this, you might be planting and watering seeds that prayerfully, someday, God will cause to bloom of their hearts.
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/LittleBee80
Related Podcast Resource: 5 Ways to C.O.V.E.R. Your Marriage in Prayer
One of a very powerful things you possibly can do on your marriage is to wish on your marriage. Learning communication skills, conflict resolution techniques and intimacy hacks are great. However, should you’re leaving your marriage uncovered by failing to wish on your spouse and your marriage, it would at all times be vulnerable to attacks. Prayer is an important guiding tool to get you and your spouse on the identical page and create unity in your marriage. In this episode of Real Relationship Talk, Dana Che shares her acronym C.O.V.E.R., which teaches you methods to specifically pray on your marriage. To listen, just click the play button below:
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