“God created marriage. No government subcommittee envisioned it. No social organization developed it. Marriage was conceived and born within the mind of God” (Max Lucado).
Marriage between a person and a lady is God’s joyful and priceless gift. The love between a person and a lady is irreplaceable and is a difficult yet wonderful gift of life on earth. Marriage may appear to be a Lego project without instructions.
But, God’s plan, complete with instructions, will make marriage last a lifetime. Since it’s His idea, being bone of bone, equal before God, and every carrying unique attributes of our Creator, we’re declared “one flesh” (Genesis 3:23-24).
One of the primary words a toddler learns is “no.” “Mine.” Human nature tells us sex is free to share without the bonds of marriage.
Although human nature is self-centered, God’s is selfless, grace-giving, and merciful. A successful marriage calls us to emulate God’s love, and sacrifice, as Jesus did for us. God’s principles applied reap powerful rewards.
God designed Eden to be an ideal, pristine place for Adam and Eve and provided all the things needed to share a lifetime together.
Adam and Eve were driven away from God’s care due to Satan’s deception and their prideful decision to disregard God’s love. As at all times, self-pride, pondering we’re smarter than God, results in a fall (Proverbs 16:18).
God’s established boundaries for our safety and freedom. The world says you may turn out to be your personal god. You’re smart. You know what’s best. Put yourself first and acquire what you desire.
But, in God’s economy, we’re to serve others first and “in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3).
Throughout Scripture, the selfless way Jesus loved the Church and gave Himself for her is the prime example of marriage and an excellent to live as much as. God wouldn’t have told us to aim for it if it weren’t possible.
Although “the center is deceitfully wicked” (Jeremiah 17:9), God is the One who changes hearts and provides the strength to turn out to be what we predict could seem unimaginable.
We can expect God’s help to put down selfishness and pride. Selfishness and anger of quarreling result in separations that break vows and hearts.
Growing in God’s love and style will enhance self-control and forgiveness, the fruit of a lifelong marriage. The Holy Spirit transforms selfishness and pride into righteousness, emulating the character of Jesus (Galatians 5:22-23). When we love Jesus more, we grow to like our spouse more.
We just celebrated our 54th yr of marriage. The most vital “tool” that has shaped our lives is Scripture. Applying God’s Word strengthens our ability to serve one another as we grow in understanding and generosity of spirit.
By God’s grace, and with His principles for all times and love, these few practical features have worked on constructing a lifetime marriage.
1. Go to Bed Together
In vain you rise early and stay awake late, toiling for food to eat — for he grants sleep to those he loves (Psalm 127:2).
This is an important moment for intimacy. A clever woman gave me this recommendation early in marriage.
God’s gift of marriage is a sacred covenant that enjoys the deepest bonds, even once we don’t feel prefer it. Giving to the opposite, from either spouse, is an act of affection.
2. Pray Together Every Night
“For where two or three have gathered in My name, I’m there of their midst” (Matthew 18:20).
Prayer builds a powerful bond in marriage. Praying was a major a part of life, but we didn’t pray together at bedtime until we were co-pastoring a difficult church.
Then, the bedtime praying built a recent strength of encouragement, direction, and wisdom. Today, we proceed our bedtime prayer together.
We name each member of the family, from our sons to our great-grandson. We also include friends, churches, missionaries, and more.
3. Do What God Says to Do
Love is patient, love is kind. It doesn’t envy, it doesn’t boast, it shouldn’t be proud. It doesn’t dishonor others, shouldn’t be self-seeking, shouldn’t be easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs. Love doesn’t enjoyment of evil but rejoices with the reality. It at all times protects, at all times trusts, at all times hopes, at all times perseveres. Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).
If we did what these 4 love verses entail, marriages would thrive. Feelings are sometimes fickle and will not be good leaders. They must be trained by God’s truth that sets the boundaries of behavior, curbs appetites, and turns selfishness into serving.
Obeying God’s commands and principles enables us to “placed on the brand new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:24).
4. Be Generous Even When You Don’t Feel Like It
“Give, and it is going to be given to you. A great measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, will probably be poured into your lap. For with the measure you employ, it is going to be measured to you” (Luke 6:38).
Learning to be generous towards your spouse’s needs before your personal will add many deposits to your love bank. God’s principle of generosity never falls in need of rewards.
5. Deal Quickly with Anger and Quickly Forgive
Bear with one another and forgive each other if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive because the Lord forgave you (Colossians 3:13).
“Do all the things without complaining or arguing…” (Colossians 1:14).
Don’t let anger take root (Ephesians 4:26). The relationship is more essential than the quarrel which reveals our own selfishness. “Why do you fight and argue amongst yourselves? Isn’t it due to your sinful desires? They fight inside you” (James 4:1-2).
Avoid the silent treatment, which is harmful and doesn’t resolve the conflict. Learn when your spouse is open to conversations without the emotions or heat of anger.
If there isn’t a treatment, pray and ask for God’s help. He will. He “opposes those that are proud, but gives grace to those that are humble” (James 4:6).
Ruth Bell Graham said, “A comfortable marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”
6. Remember to Say Please and Thank You
Let your speech at all times be with grace (Colossians 4:6).
My husband says thanks so often. Those two words are keys to grace-filled conversations. Sugar goes loads farther than vinegar. Thankful individuals are cheerful people.
7. Be Grateful
“Be thankful in all circumstances, for that is God’s will for you…” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).
A thankful heart goes a great distance. Being grateful in your blessings can shift your perspective from wanting more to acknowledging God’s work and gifts in your life.
8. Laugh Often
A cheerful heart is nice medicine (Proverbs 17:22).
In essentially the most unexpected times, John makes me laugh. I complimented a green shirt that brought out the colour of his hazel eyes.
When I purchased an apricot-colored shirt, he tried it on and said, “It matches my eyes.” I looked puzzled, but he explained, “You say a shirt brings out my eye color?” I just giggled. Life is brief. Laugh day-after-day.
9. Don’t Criticize
There is one who speaks rashly just like the thrusts of a sword, however the tongue of the clever brings healing (Proverbs 12:18, NASB).
Being redemptive in motives and conversations slightly than critical strengthens the wedding bond. Criticism often arises from my selfishness at work slightly than pondering of him.
We are all unique, with unique skills and gifts. Encouragement towards Christlikeness can replace attempts to alter one’s spouse.
A delicate conversation can tackle problems with difference without the warmth. James 3:8 says the tongue is “filled with deadly poison.” Our words can honor Christ or hurt like a sword.
Words wound or heal. When it’s unkind or mean, it may possibly’t be recalled. So, we must guard our tongues and bite them if needed.
Why Does This Matter?
Many of God’s principles take work and energy. They could seem unimaginable to attain. However, with the Holy Spirit’s help and guidance, we are able to develop deeper love, turn out to be less self-centered, and honor God by our behavior and words.
God’s principles work! He is ideal and knows what’s best in relationships since He’s the Author of affection. Implementing His commands reaps success.
When we cannot measure as much as love like Jesus, God continues to assist us. The Holy Spirit convicts, corrects, comforts, and instructs us as we yield.
God guarantees success in all the things in life once we obey His Word and live out His principles (Joshua 1:8). Marriage is God’s idea, and He will help us achieve a wedding that lasts a lifetime, especially once we are hooked on His Word and do what He says.
For further reading:
Building a Strong Marriage: How Humility Leads to Unity and Safety
Building a Strong Foundation: 6 Divine Callings for Every Marriage
What Is the Biblical Definition of Marriage?
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/CherriesJD
Related Podcast Resource: 5 Ways to C.O.V.E.R. Your Marriage in Prayer
One of crucial things you may do in your marriage is to wish in your marriage. Learning communication skills, conflict resolution techniques and intimacy hacks are great. However, if you happen to’re leaving your marriage uncovered by failing to wish in your spouse and your marriage, it is going to at all times be vulnerable to attacks. Prayer is a necessary guiding tool to get you and your spouse on the identical page and create unity in your marriage. In this episode of Real Relationship Talk, Dana Che shares her acronym C.O.V.E.R., which teaches you tips on how to specifically pray in your marriage. To listen, just click the play button below:
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