Almost 25% of Christian marriages end in divorce. Though it’s a tragic reality, this trending behavior is something more Christians must be talking about. While many individuals consider divorce is flawed in any and each situation, this shouldn’t be true. The Bible tells us divorce is permissible in cases of adultery and abuse, each of which break God’s commands for marriage (Matthew 19:9; Ephesians 5:28-33).Â
It’s hard to manage within the aftermath of divorce. You really loved your spouse, and possibly still do. It’s difficult to take care of a spouse’s unfaithfulness. This heartbreaking reality breaks God’s heart, too. Similarly, abuse, whether physical, emotional, or mental, goes against God’s design for marriage. Divorcing for either of those reasons is painful, and it is important to know find out how to take care of it as a follower of Christ.
Mending & HealingÂ
Mending and healing are each a mandatory and significant step in moving forward after divorce. The timeline for recovery will look different for each individual. As you take time to fix and heal, know that taking as much time as you wish is okay. Going through a divorce is a strenuous and traumatic process that shouldn’t be shrugged off. Give yourself time to grieve and to reflect on what happened.Â
As mentioned, you really liked your spouse, and depending on the rationale behind the divorce, it might probably leave you with feelings of inadequacy, pain, and a broken heart. God understands all of those feelings. You can go to Him and tell Him about what you might be going through. The Lord loves you and can surround you with His comfort, support, and love. You cannot heal without the Lord’s help. True hope is present in walking alongside our Savior during this painful and delicate time.
God hates divorce, but He doesn’t hate you. God understands because He has been with you each step of the way in which. He knows the pain that entered your heart when you discovered your spouse had been unfaithful to you. The Lord saw your pain, tears, and the betrayal that crept into your heart.Â
In the identical way, God saw every type of abuse you endured out of your spouse, and He wants to present you healing from the abuse. Never consider the lie that God doesn’t know what you might be going through. He knows your pain and needs to steer you to peace. It might take time, but God all the time surrounds you with His love. You won’t feel it because God’s love shouldn’t be a sense. Rather, you have to depend on what you realize, and your knowledge tells you that God loves you, understands your pain, and walks with you thru all of it (John 3:16; Psalm 23).
“Even once I walk through the darkest valley, I won’t be afraid, for you might be close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and luxury me.” – Psalm 23:4 NLT
As you start healing out of your divorce, it is important to recollect you do not want to be hard on yourself. Do not blame yourself, and don’t tear yourself down. Instead, be kind to yourself and practice extra self-care. Divorces could make you’re feeling that you simply don’t matter, that no person cares about you, and that your entire marriage was built upon a lie. Know the reality that your feelings are valid, but in addition know that you simply do matter and that many individuals love you.
When you’re feeling ready, try to succeed in out to family and friends. Do this at your personal pace. If you don’t feel like talking to anyone straight away, know that’s alright, too. Reach out to family members once you think you possibly can because they will support you during this difficult time. Even for those who don’t need to debate the divorce with them, you possibly can ask for those who and your beloved could exit and get your mind off things. Your friend or member of the family could be greater than pleased to allow you to reset and recharge.Â
Trusting the Lord with the Pain
“Give all of your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” – 1 Peter 5:7 NLT
As you deal along with your divorce, you have to also trust the Lord with the pain. It might sound cliche, but it is extremely necessary. God wants you to solid all worry, anxiety, and pain on Him (1 Peter 5:7). This includes the entire pain you might be experiencing because of this of your divorce. It might be hard to show the pain over to God, however it is what you have to do. You cannot fully heal and move forward without trusting the pain with God.Â
You are a beloved child of God, and He hates to see you upset. He has seen your sleepless nights, your pain, and each tear. Your spouse was speculated to be someone who loved, protected, and cherished you, yet your spouse didn’t do that. It pains God to know that His creation doesn’t obey His marriage design. God created marriage as a great thing; nonetheless, humankind has severed it in some ways. You have seen and felt the pain that comes together with a divorce, and you realize it shouldn’t be good.
Trust the Lord with this pain. The pain can sometimes get overwhelming, which is when it’s good to turn to the Lord. Tell Him all about how you’re feeling and wish His help. Ask the Lord to strengthen you and to present you hope for the long run when all you see is despair. God will answer your prayer, and even when He doesn’t take you out of the situation, He remains to be working all things out for your personal good (Romans 8:28).Â
Letting Go of ResentmentÂ
“Instead, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:32 NLT
Lastly, letting go of your resentment against your ex-husband or ex-wife can also be necessary. We are to forgive because the Lord has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32). While this might be hard, it is important. Forgiveness doesn’t mean we approve or forget what happened. Rather, forgiveness means trusting all these feelings to God. You don’t need to go away the remainder of your life holding resentment, anger, or unforgiveness toward your ex-husband or ex-wife.
All of your pain and feelings are valid. Sometimes, you would possibly have intense hate toward them or anger, but you have to let these feelings pass. Take a moment to sit down with these feelings after which allow them to go. Hate and anger don’t bring concerning the life God has for you. Instead of holding onto these negative feelings, it’s crucial to let go of them. The longer you hold onto resentment, unforgiveness, hate, and anger, the longer it is going to take to heal.
By letting go of resentment and lengthening forgiveness, you’ll have the option to take care of divorce biblically as a Christian. Allow grace, respect, and kindness to influence your actions. Your ex-husband or ex-wife probably doesn’t deserve your forgiveness or grace, but neither can we deserve God’s forgiveness or grace. Lean into forgiveness and permit God’s healing work in your life. Your life is way more than a divorce. You can still have a gorgeous life serving the Lord no matter marital status.Â
Photo Courtesy: © Getty Images/Martin Barraud
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The views and opinions expressed on this podcast are those of the speakers and don’t necessarily reflect the views or positions of Salem Web Network and Salem Media Group.
You can read Rhonda’s full article here.
